


Jungles Amongst Deserts

by ItsClydeBitches



Category: RWBY
Genre: Character Study, Drama, Fluff, Gen, Humor, One Shot Collection, Teaching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-27
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2018-08-11 10:05:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7886917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsClydeBitches/pseuds/ItsClydeBitches
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A set of interconnected one-shots that surround Ruby and her favorite teachers. </p><p>Chapter One: Dr. Oobleck is very impressed by a certain team's unique study habits.<br/>Chapter Two: After Weiss is injured in battle, Ruby seeks out extra training from Ms. Goodwitch.<br/>Chapter Three: Unable to sleep, Ruby ends up having a late night conversation with the Headmaster.<br/>Chapter Four: After their talk by the lake, Ruby starts spending a lot more time in Ozpin's office.<br/>Chapter Five: When the kids become suspicious of Port's heroic tales, he dares them to prove him a liar.<br/>Chapter Six: The Beacon dining hall is for eating, food fights, and... riddle contests?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Doctor Oobleck

“Paint?”

 

“Yep!”

 

“Markers?”

 

“Uh huh.”

 

“Glitter?”

 

“ _Duh_.”

 

Nora produced each item as Ruby suggested it, pulling them out from under her bed, her closet, Ren’s closet… he merely sighed when a large jar of pink glitter came out of his sock drawer.

 

“Nora. How did that get there?”

 

“Persistence, Ren.”

 

Ruby made a funny sound in agreement, though it came out pretty distracted. She was already coloring furiously over the paper she’d dragged into JNPR’s room. Flat on her stomach, tongue poking out and legs kicking, Ruby pulled back to admire her work. She hummed, then added another star.

 

“Glue?”

 

Here Nora paused. She’d been slathering on glitter with her right hand (flicking bits at Ren with her left: “It matches your eyes!”) but because there was indeed nothing for the glitter to stick to, it just scattered across the floor every time Nora moved. She stared down at the mess intently. Looked to Ruby. Back to the mess.

 

“I’ve failed you horribly.”

 

A warm chuckle came from across the room. Pyrrah stretched, putting her book aside. “Just use the metallic paint, some on each one,” she suggested. “We can post them using my semblance.”

 

Ruby gave a tiny, awe-filled gasp. “ _Awesome_.”

 

“But the glitter,” Nora moaned.

 

Fondly shaking her head, Pyrrah slide to the floor and grabbed some materials for herself. She flapped a paper at Ren until he took one too, rolling his eyes all the while.

 

“Mix the glitter into the paint,” Pyrrah said and shook her head again at Nora’s squeal of joy.

 

The four of them had only been working another ten minutes or so when the door slammed open. Yang’s legs appeared, the rest of her covered by a tower of paper. Blake and Weiss popped out from behind her.

 

“We’re productive,” Weiss announced. She took a sheet from the top and held it out for their inspection. “Look at how perfect they are. Well, _mine_ are anyway.” Her gaze narrowed down at Ruby’s creation. “What is _that_?”

 

“That,” Yang said, “Is my lil’ sis’ talent shining through.” She set the stack down with a “Hup!” and dove to pull Ruby into a bone-crushing hug. “Amazing on and off the battlefield!”

 

“ _You’re squashing my lungs_ ,” Ruby croaked.

 

“That’s fiiiiiine.”

 

“And my paper.”

 

“Whoops. Sorry then.”

 

Blake looked like she was two seconds away from a full-fledged smile. “Jaune will be back soon. We should get these up while he...?”

 

“Showers,” Ren supplied. “Then he’ll polish his shield for at least twenty minutes. I’m making breakfast for dinner,” he pointed accurately to a new bag of flour without looking up from his work, “and then he’ll train with Pyrrah for a while. Aura work tonight. No need for the roof. If we’re lucky we can keep him in here for the rest of the night.”

 

“And if he tries to leave we’ll break his legs!” Nora yelled. Her sudden jump sent glitter and papers scattering in all directions.

 

“... no, Nora.”

 

“Aww.”

 

Weiss muttered something scathing and dropped, trying to rustle everything back into its proper place. Yang absently patted her ponytail.

 

“Great,” she said. “We got anything to post these bad boys with?”

 

Ren, Nora, and Ruby all pointed. “Pyrrah.”

 

“Pyrrah?”

 

“Me,” she agreed.

 

Yang tilted her head. “Cool.”

 

“Done,” Ruby cried and tossed her picture onto the pile. Ren slide his over a moment later, Nora shoveling a whole mass of glittering papers across the floor with Magnhild. Weiss growled at all three of them.

 

Blake just sighed. “This is gonna take a while.”

 

“Not with a speedy sister,” Yang said. The rest of team RWBY took up a small collections while their leader gathered a whole armful. Ruby used what limited movement she had to give a solemn salute.

 

“Keep him busy until tomorrow,” she told Ren, who nodded, struggling not to smile.

 

“Ruby,” Pyrrah said slowly. “You can’t use your speed to post these if you need me to—Ruby!”

 

Too late. Ruby had already grabbed hold of Pyrrah’s collar, let of a whoop, and a split second later the two of them were gone, just a stream of rose petals fluttering in their wake. Nora oooed at the empty space.

 

“I think I can hear Pyrrah crying in the distance,” she said, cocking one ear.

 

Yang kicked open the door. “Probably. The one time Ruby dragged me through her semblance I couldn’t see straight for a week. _Never again_.”

 

“Never at all,” Weiss said and tucked her load carefully under one arm. “C’mon, lets take the courtyard. _I_ have tape.”

 

“For what?” a voice asked and the five of them turned to find Jaune standing in the doorway, body and armor dented from Glynda’s training. He anxiously rubbed the back of his head as they continued to stare. “Uh... guys? Have I got dirt on my face or... ?”

 

“... Yes,” Blake said, comically straight-faced. “Go shower.”

 

“Um...”

 

“Now.”

 

“Right,” and Jaune turned obediently, still casting curious (and somewhat nervous) looks behind him.

 

“The stuff our ‘fearless leader’ comes up with,” Weiss groused when he’d left. The others nodded in various levels of agreement, but the rest of team RWBY still headed out toward the courtyard, trailing glitter and sarcasm in their wake.

 

***

 

Dr. Oobleck’s speed allowed him a certain amount of advantage in everyday life. Cooking, cleaning, various chores—he could complete them all within moments, depending on the amount of work and how much he needed his mind to keep up with his body. Getting ready for the day was a piece of cake overall, cleaned and dressed in a fraction of the time it took most huntsmen. The fact that he couldn’t be bothered to tuck in his shirt or straighten his tie spoke more of practicality than anything else— they wouldn’t stay neat at his speeds anyway. No, might as well use that free time to take a (comparatively) leisurely walk before class.

 

Which was what brought Oobleck to Beacon’s courtyard that sunny, Friday morning, standing still as the proverbial statue. He might have worried the student body if any of them had been awake to see it, but his eyes were still bright and excited, reassuringly so. Oobleck let out a soft, “Well!” and snatched a paper from where it had been tapped to a pillar, setting into motion once again.

 

The other lovely thing about speed was that it allowed him to traverse the campus and burst into Ozpin’s office, all before the headmaster had take that first sip of his drink.

 

Well... lovely for _Oobleck_.

 

“Bart,” Ozpin said, carefully setting down his mug. There was a single drop of liquid on his scarf that Oobleck’s arrival had splashed his way. Ozpin dabbed at it with a smile. “I assume you’ve seen the students’... extracurricular activity?”

 

“Marvelous, simply marvelous!” Oobleck cried. He paced in front of the desk, periodically waving the paper in front of Ozpin’s face—as if that gave him time to actually read it. “I had no idea they were planning such a thing. I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me sooner! Why, storytelling is the single best way to retain information, of course it is! Our minds understand stories, love them, adapt to them. Do you know how many rumors I’ve had to dismantle over the years, simply because they were attached to exciting tales of skill and bravery? Hundreds! But if we can synthesize the actual facts into a narrative... brilliant! The students may learn more than I could teach them in ten, twenty classes!”

 

“Or rather, better retain what you’ve already taught them,” Ozpin corrected. He tapped his own sheet, plucked from his elevator earlier this morning. “It is something, isn’t it?”

 

It was. Ozpin possessed the one poster Ruby had finished. In truth, her artistic skills didn’t extend much beyond the caricature of Port she’d produced that first day of class, but her attempts had a certain... charm to them, nonetheless: four stick figures stood before a large, crudely drawn tower, clearly engaged in defending it from the hoard of Grimm coming from all sides. Ozpin’s lips twitched at the fact that, though three were fairly generic figures, one fighter held a scythe, even though he knew from his own studies that the weapons wouldn’t be used or popularized until generations later. It was remarkably colorful overall and when he replaced the paper, Ozpin’s hand came away with just a tiny bit of glitter. He chuckled, pulling a handkerchief from his pocket and nodding towards the text.

 

“ _Come study in style_ ,” he read, as Oobleck vibrated. “ _Team RWBY presents a dramatic retelling of the Assault on Slann Tower, perfect for First Years prepping for exams. Join us this Sunday for food, fun, knowledge_ —” his eyes narrowed— “ _and plenty of fake blood_. Hmm. I think we know who came up with each of those slogans. I’d best warn Glynda.”

 

“Bu you won’t stop them, right?” Oobleck asked, suddenly stilling.

 

Ozpin smiled. “No. I think it’s a wonderful idea.”

 

“Yes, yes! Every year it’s the same, Ozpin. They’re so excited to learn about such a significant, historical battle—”

 

“—until they realize it really means learning the names of all the generals, underlings, and discarded strategies. They’re kids, Bart. They want to hear about the part where humans and faunus slaughtered a ridiculous number of Grimm.”

 

Oobleck scoffed. “We _do_ get to that part.”

 

“Just not before you test them on all the boring stuff.”

 

“Of course!”

 

Ozpin shook his head, finally taking a sip of his drink. Standing, he stretched and made his way around the desk, placing a hand companionably on Oobleck’s shoulder. “I think you’ll be pleased with their accuracy overall, despite the theatrics. It’s my understanding that team RWBY came up with this little plan in an attempt to help out young Arc. He’s struggling in your class?”

 

“Sleeping through my class is more like it. Still…yes there’s a much better chance he’ll learn something if it’s the beautiful Ms. Schnee telling it to him, but however did you know that?”

 

“Because he stalks Ms. Rose through the security systems.”

 

They turned to find Glynda gliding out of the elevator, three of the posters held in hand. “Ozpin, what exactly is this?”

 

He pursed his lips, eyes tilted towards the ceiling. “‘ _Stalk_ ’? That seems a bit harsh...”

 

“Ozpin.”

 

“It’s an act of student lead initiative and creativity,” Oobleck declared, snatching the posters from Glynda even as she rolled her eyes. He grinned brightly at the one on top, clearly drawn by Yang. A shadowed figure pummeled through the base of the tower and sent large chunks of rock hurtling towards the Grimm.

 

“I don’t recall _that_ ever happening,” Glynda said dryly.

 

Ozpin shrugged. “Perhaps not. Regardless, knowing what we do of this team, I think it best we _all_ be on standby Sunday night. Glynda?”

 

“Yes, yes, alright.”

 

“Bart?”

 

“Oh don’t be silly, Ozpin, how preposterous—I wouldn’t miss it for the world!”

 

***

 

Indeed, that Sunday Oobleck was in the very front row, accompanying the esteemed Mr. Arc, their headmaster, and a smattering of the more excitable students. He grinned maniacally as another stream of Ren’s homemade blood came flying their way.

 

“I’m so glad I wore my best coat,” Ozpin commented, but his cane happily marked the beats as the fictional huntsmen geared up for another fight, the rest of the students stomping their feet in tandem.

 

“BREAK. THEIR. LEGS.” Nora shrieked from the back.

 

Up on stage Ruby pointed her way, balancing atop their table-and-cafeteria-bench tower. Below her Yang, Blake, and Weiss were poised in varying combat stances, their costumes a mess and their smiles blinding.

 

“General Lox didn’t break any legs, but he _did_ start a fire. Lox?”

 

At Ruby’s command Yang exploded with power, her aura flickering red and yellow around them.

 

“Fire to combat the Grimm,” Blake called out over the crowd. “Not directly, of course, because Grimm don’t feel pain. Set one on fire and what have you got?”

 

“A flaming problem!” Velvet said, louder and happier than she’d been in weeks.

 

“Pretty much. Huntsmen and huntresses, don’t try this at home.” Blake jumped out of the way as Yang did a complicated series of gymnastics, making it appears as if her aura was consuming every inch of the stage. “Fire may not be a good offensive tool, but it did provide the humans and faunus with something else, something they desperately needed with so many Grimm closing in...”

 

“Cheer!”

 

“Love!”

 

“Happiness!”

 

“Hope!” Pyrrah’s voice rose above the others, the only thing that had yet to draw Jaune’s attention away from the stage.

 

“That’s right! Grimm may be attracted to negative energy, but it’s hope and happiness that repel them.” Weiss slid to the front on a flaming path of her own creation, raising Myrtenaster like a professor’s chalkboard pointer. “Now! Who can tell me who came up with such a singularly crucial discovery?”

 

“Annabelle Lox!” someone yelled. Then another: “The General’s daughter!”

 

Weiss cocked an ear. “I’m sorry, what was that?”

 

“Annabelle!”

 

“What?”

 

“Annabelle!”

 

She got down on one knee, leaning off the stage to get right in Jaune’s face. “ _Who?_ ”

 

“Annabelle,” he squeaked, squirming away as the crowd laughed.

 

“Annabelle,” Weiss emphasized. She struck the ground with Myrtenaster, creating a spark just as Ruby leapt to the ground. “Who was how old...?”

 

“ _Six!_ ” Oobleck shouted.

 

He couldn’t help himself. He’d kept quiet throughout most of the performance, but Annabelle would always be one of his favorite historical figures. A young girl, untrained and terrified, reminding a group of jaded adults that sometimes a symbol of hope was all you needed to turn the tide.

 

Here and now, Oobleck looked at Ruby Rose up on that stage, not terrified and certainly not untrained... but young, producing in this very room some of the greatest weapons they had against the Grimm: laughter. Enjoyment. Camaraderie. Oobleck knew that he’d never stop learning, particularly as a historian, and he could admit freely that he’d never understood Annabelle’s importance quite as well as when Ozpin had invited a child into their school.

 

Oobleck wasn’t blind to the fact that history was in the making, right in front of his face.

 

For now though, said child was glaring his way.

 

“Doctor,” Ruby hissed. “ _Don’t cheat_.”

 

“Ah, I’m sorry, dreadfully sorry—”

 

“Anyone else?” Yang asked, arms spread and laughing. The whole room yelled the correct answer, some lobbying thanks at Oobleck. He sheepishly waved a hand.

 

“Six-years-old,” Weiss sniffed. “What have _you_ all done with yourselves?”

 

Blake quickly interrupted the criticism. “It was the boost the army needed though. After days under siege and numerous failures. Lives lost and dreams shattered. Armed now with fire, dust, and a new sense of purpose, the human and faunus team, they... well, we all know what happens next, right?”

 

“They kicked ass!” Nora screamed, causing a reaction of voices so loud it nearly deafened. Amongst the chaos Ruby and Yang returned to the top of their ‘tower,’ Weiss and Blake launching off to the sides.

 

Ruby raised a fist. “I don’t know if ‘kicks ass’ will be accepted on the test, but it’s pretty accurate!”

 

She and Yang threw themselves into the air while Blake and Weiss activated their semblances. Weiss summoned a series of ice-carved Grimm, the statues so dark they looked nearly black, while Blake quickly donned a hooded cloak, allowing the copies she created to look appropriately sinister.

 

Yang and Ruby crossed in mid air and, with just a millisecond to pose for the crowd, came slamming down with all the power of true huntresses. The stage cracked; showers of dust fell from the ceiling. They destroyed the ‘Grimm’ in one fell swoop and rose with the audience’s cheer, the four of them colliding in the middle for a well-deserved bow.

 

“None of you better fail tomorrow!” Weiss yelled. The arm Ruby wasn’t hanging on swung out to point at Jaune. “That means _you_.”

 

“Yes, ma’am!”

 

The students were already milling and gathering back together, climbing over seats to congratulate team RWBY (or otherwise gently mocking them for the various mistakes throughout their performance). No one paid any mind to their two professors seated up front—approached by a third.

 

“That was the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever had the misfortune to witness,” Glynda huffed. She snapped out her wrist and a cracks in the stage repaired themselves.

 

“I think you mean ‘ _fortune_ ,’” Ozpin said, smiling.

 

“Don’t tell me what I mean. It’s going to take ages to clean all this up.”

 

“And you wouldn’t have it any other way.”

 

Ozpin said it with such confidence—such truth—that Glynda’s lips twisted briefly into a smile. She coughed though, hiding her face against any curious eyes.

 

“Well, I certainly can’t comment on the academic merits of that performance. A useful summary, I admit, but there were more than a few inaccuracies that I’m sure our resident historian has something to say about, isn’t that right, Bartholomew? Bart?”

 

Oobleck was still staring at the stage though, keeping amazingly still. He watched as RWBY came together with JNPR, recounting events and lightly teasing Mr. Arc. All of them shone with a youthful optimism that had him nodding in turn.

 

“I think,” he said simply, “that the Grimm won’t be nearing our boarders tonight.”

 

Ozpin hummed. “Indeed.”

 

“... fair enough,” Glynda said and took a moment to watch with her colleagues. For now, the cleanup could wait.

 

***

 

Normality returned quickly to Beacon Academy—there were lessons to learn and monsters to fight; a whole slew of new things to experience.

 

One huntsmen’s mind would always be on the past though, even if it was the recent past of just a week before. Flitting about his office as he graded paper after paper, Oobleck took a split second of precious time to smile down at the First Years’ tests, one in particular.

 

“Well done, Mr. Arc,” he said, and circled the 92 in green.


	2. Ms. Goodwitch

Nearly an hour of battle now and Team RWBY wasn’t lagging.

 

“Down and out!”

 

Blake and Weiss immediately crouched, shot forward, and using sheath and sword respectively, took out the lower halves of a series of Grimm. Yang dove and picked her baby sister up with ease, throwing Ruby nearly twenty feet into the air. She spread her cloak, letting the surface area slow her fall, and used that time to let out a massive string of shots. Each bullet wormed its way around her team and into the head or heart of a Grimm—perfect, deadly accuracy.

 

Ruby landed beside Weiss, back-to-back and ready for more.

 

“This is amazing,” she said, grinning and planting her feet.

 

“This is endless,” Weiss groused. She was just as steady as Ruby, though both girls were beginning to breathe heavier, their limbs weighted down from endless swings. “Where’s Oobleck?”

 

Zwei’s bark and an explosion came from down the hill, reassuring the girls that their huntsman chaperone was still taking care of that other pack, single handedly no less. Ozpin had been more than pleased with the results of their last mission—“Perhaps we should bend more rules in the future, hmm?”--for though it had been chaotic, sure, Team RWBY, Ooblekc, and Zwie _had_ successfully thwarted a full-scale invasion, an attack that no one had seen coming, and one that would have cost countless civilian lives if not for their efforts. Keeping the Grimm at bay until reinforcements arrive is no simple task and one that, for Ozpin at least, was indicative of their skill level. Diminishing some of the Grimm that hounded the boarders of their school was a comparatively easy assignment.

 

They just hadn’t expected quite this many. Team CFVY didn’t exaggerate.

 

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” Weiss accused. She huffed when Ruby companionably bumped her hip.

 

“Yep!”

 

“Well enjoy it faster, would you? I’d prefer not to miss dinner.”

 

Fair enough. Ruby’s stomach gave a sympathetic growl. She took quick stock of her team—Yang facing off against two Ursa, Blake dispatching a Beowulf, turning to help—and then stepped back onto the glyph Weiss had summoned for her.

 

“I’ll pick off the ones you miss,” she said, raising Myrtenaster.

 

Ruby grinned. “Settle in then.”

 

“Hey!”

 

She didn’t give Weiss the chance to craft a witty retort. Ruby crouched and pushed off the glyph, using the extra burst of speed to throw herself head first into her semblance. The difficulty was always maintaining visibility and precise movement while keeping to this velocity, figuring out how to get her mind to keep up with the speed of her body. Ruby could admit that she’d nowhere near mastered it yet, and she’d meant to speak to Oobleck about it, but for now she’d just have to be a little sloppy.

 

So Ruby kept Crescent Rose in a stable arch away from her body, letting it fall where it wanted, Grimm heads, torsos, and legs flying in all directions—then turning back for a second pass if the first didn’t do the job.

 

It was over in a matter of seconds, forty at the most, leaving Ruby exhilarated and just this side of exhausted. She caught a glimpse of Yang and Blake running towards them before she landed back beside Weiss.

 

“How was that?” she asked, forcing the words out between deep breaths. “ _Woo_!” Ruby hung her head briefly between her knees.

 

Rose petals. She’d always loved the byproduct of her semblance. It admittedly wasn’t the greatest for stealth, but arching high through the air, weapon in hand and trailing petals in her wake... it was just so much more romantic, you know?

 

So Ruby smiled down at the scatterings by her feet. Spring was in full bloom and the petals stood out vibrantly against the grass—blood-red, stark against green.

 

Except… it took Ruby a moment to realize there really _was_ blood mixed in.

 

She looked up, numb, and found Weiss clutching at her size. It looked like there were rose petals there too, blooming against the white of her dress.

 

***

 

“I’m fine! Why are you being such a pest?”

 

“It’s because she looooooves you.”

 

“Shut _up_ , Yang.”

 

Yang retaliated by swooping down to poke at the bandage on Weiss side, causing her to give an exaggerated yelp. The two started swatting at one another, giving Blake time to sidle up to Ruby.

 

“She really is fine,” she whispered, placing a hand briefly against the younger girl’s back. “It’s just a scratch. Besides, it’s Weiss’ fault for getting distracted.”

 

“You all are awful at this comforting thing,” Weiss yelled, pointing an accusatory finger Blake’s way. Blake just shrugged, smiling slightly and plopping down on her bed.

 

Ruby swallowed hard. She had to admit that Weiss _looked_ okay. They’d been in the infirmary all of ten minutes before a nurse popped in, used a fraction of her semblance to stitch up the wound, wrapped it, and sent the four of them on their way. Oobleck even said it would be a minor mention in his report— “Why, if no one got injured after that long a battle it would have been extraordinary, extraordinary, girls! Happens to the best of us. Just be mindful of your surroundings Ms. Schnee, hope you feel better soon, gotta run!”—Indeed, before he’d disappeared Ruby had noticed a similar cut along Oobleck’s forearm, courtesy of an Ursa’s claw. Blake had twisted her ankle (“You sure you don’t want a piggyback ride?” “... yes, Yang.”), Yang had a jagged cut along her cheek (“I think that’s from a tree branch actually.” “You and Juane should swap stories.” “Hey!”), Zwei needed a hot bath to treat the pads of his paws (“Ruff!”), and even Ruby felt the consequences of battle in her lower back—she’d probably managed to pull something. It was like Oobleck said, coming out of that with minor cuts and bruises was _fantastic_. A clean run would have been extraordinary.

 

So why couldn’t she get the image of Weiss’ blood out of her mind?

 

“Hello, Remanent to Ruby.” Ruby blinked when Weiss leaned forward to smack her head. “There you are. Jeez, I swear you take this ‘leader’ stuff a little too seriously sometimes. Don’t let it go to your head.” Weiss paused, suddenly very interested in the dark outside their window. “And... I suppose I could have been a little more alert. Though it’s hardly my fault that Boarbatusk was so tiny. It came out of nowhere!”

 

Yang snickered. “‘Tiny’ isn’t the best defense, Weiss.”

 

“Though you do seem to have trouble with them...” Blake added.

 

“Maybe we should tell Professor Port about this.”

 

They were the first words Ruby had spoken since her flurry of apologies out on the field and Weiss’ glare, though intense, also had a layer of relief to it. The unwelcome tension among them broke.

 

“Don’t you dare,” Weiss huffed, smiling ever so slightly. Then she gasped. “Crap! We missed dinner!”

 

“Language,” Yang teased, wagging a finger. “Let’s sneak down to the kitchens. Betcha there’s great leftovers this time of night.”

 

“Are we even allowed to do that?” But Blake stood, stretching and helping Weiss to her feet.

 

Ruby shrugged. “Out of all the rules we could break, I think this is the one Ozpin would mind the least. I’ll grab the others. Nora will freak if we get pancakes without her.”

 

So Ruby slipped out of their room, closing the door on the argument starting up about whether they should really eat breakfast for dinner. She paused before knocking on JNPR’s door though. She froze really.

 

Yeah, it was just a scratch and sure, maybe Ruby did let responsibility go to her head sometimes... but she was still their leader. It was _her_ job to protect _them_.

 

Just a scratch.

 

As far as Ruby was concerned, that was one scratch too many.

 

***

 

“You guys go on ahead,” Ruby said. “I want to ask a quick question.”

 

“Anything I can answer?” Weiss offered. Four days since their assignment and though Weiss’ side was completely healed—had been since Monday—Ruby’s anxiety hadn’t lessened. They’d all noticed it, and they’d all been offering her support in their own little ways: Yang with almost motherly pep talks, Blake gifting Ruby with books she could lose herself in, and Weiss making herself available for homework help. Ruby appreciated their efforts, she really did, but this wasn’t something she could fix by ignoring it.

 

Not that a part of her wasn’t tempted to try.

 

“Nah,” she said, waving them off. Ruby plastered on a bright smile. “I’ll catch up with you at lunch.”

 

“You’d better.”

 

Yang herded Weiss out of the classroom, Blake nodding as she brought up the rear. Ruby waited until their voices disappeared down the hall before taking in a deep breath, standing, and making her way down the steps.

 

Theory was one thing, but little knowledge at Beacon was worthwhile without practical application. With that in mind, Aura Studies 101 had moved from a small seminar classroom to a massive arena space, perfect for mock battles and violent demonstrations. Normally Ruby loved it—the size, the freedom, her voice echoing high against the walls—but now the room felt paradoxically claustrophobic and Ruby cursed because this walk was taking way too long.

 

She finally got down to the flat stage, stopping by the desk set off to the side.

 

“Yes, Ms. Rose?” Professor Goodwitch asked.

 

Ruby swallowed, shuffling in place. She opened her mouth a couple of times but nothing came out. It got to the point where Glynda actually looked up from her work and, yeah, she didn’t look pleased.

 

“Yes?”

 

“I want you to teach me,” Ruby blurted then smacked her forehead because that hadn’t come out right at all. Glynda seemed to agree. The briefest smile flit across her face, missed entirely by Ruby, before she settled on a cool stare, one eyebrow raised.

 

“I was under the impression that I already _did_ that,” she said. “Unless you have a complaint against my teaching style...?”

 

“No!” Ruby waved both hands frantically. “No, I mean, I love the class, of course I do, Aura is great and I mean sure, maybe we could do more cool fighting stuff instead of dry theory stuff, but I get why that’s important, I really do, and you’re great too, I swear—”

 

“Ms. Rose.”

 

“... right.” Ruby blinked. “What was I saying?”

 

With a sigh Glynda rose, gathering up papers, books, and pens in one swoop of her riding crop. They piled into a bag which she slung over her shoulder.

 

She cast Ruby an appraising look. “Ozpin was right,” she announced. “You’ll be far more forthcoming in an informal environment. Perhaps with something nutritious, considering that I doubt you’ll consume anything substantial later tonight.”

 

“... what?” Ruby said.

 

Glynda lightly nudged her as she passed. “Come to my office and we can discuss whatever’s upsetting you over lunch.”

 

“Oh. Great!”

 

***

 

Sort of great.

 

Glynda was still pretty intimidating, but she did know how to put together a nice meal. There was a plate of tea sandwiches between them, a large bowl of fruit, iced tea, and a plat of cookies just for Ruby, to be eaten _after_ the rest. Glynda’s office was warm and far more heavily furnished than the Headmaster’s. Ruby thought that this would be a nice room for a nap, or maybe to curl up with a favorite book. Neither of which she could do right now, of course. Which was kind of a pity.

 

Ruby nibbled absently at the chicken salad and kicked her legs, stubbornly avoiding her teacher’s gaze.

 

“Ms. Rose.”

 

“Mmm.”

 

“Ruby.”

 

She looked up, smiling sheepishly. Glynda just folded her arms. When no words were forthcoming she pressed two fingers briefly to the bridge of her nose. “Perhaps you should start at the beginning?”

 

The beginning? Yeah... yeah she could do that.

 

So after a false start (“Not _that_ far back”), Ruby spilled it all to Glynda: the meeting with Professor Ozpin about conducting another mission, the slightly better reaction this time to seeing Oobleck out by their ship, jumping into a whole herd of Grimm, splitting off from their teacher, holding their own for an hour, the fights adding up, Weiss joking about dinner, Weiss’ glyph, Weiss’ blood—

 

Ruby stopped, snapping her mouth shut. She snatched up a cookie and bit into it viciously.

 

Glynda didn’t answer immediately. To Ruby’s surprise she also picked up a cookie and examined it closely. She didn’t eat it though, just observed.

 

“You’re young,” she finally said. “I wouldn’t have let you into Beacon at your age, Ms. Rose... but I also can’t deny that you’ve more than held your own here. You’ve also proven yourself to be a capable leader. I can’t believe that you’re still buying in to the naïve notion that you can completely protect your team from harm.”

 

Slowly, Ruby shook her head. It wasn’t that.

 

“And from what I understand, it was Ms. Schnee’s own lack of concentration that lead to her injury. I understand how jarring it can be to see a teammate injured, but you must keep in mind that you are all part of a _whole_. Ms. Schnee, Belladonna, and Xiao Long, are all capable fighters and you are not solely responsible for their welfare. That’s simply impossible to—”

 

“You did it.”

 

Normally Ruby would have frozen at the knowledge that she’d interrupted Ms. Goodwich, but she was a little busy staring down at her hands, gripping tight at the edge of her skirt. Glynda was quiet across from her.

 

“You did that when we first met,” Ruby continued, barely above a whisper. “You fought Torchwick and that lady _and_ kept me safe. You moved so fast when you arrived I didn’t even see you, and then you got me out of the way of those blasts before I even knew there were blasts to get out of the way from.” Ruby took a deep breath and looked up. “I need to be able to do that too. Fight _and_ keep everyone safe.”

 

“... You realize that I have years of experience, to say nothing of training you haven’t even touched on yet?” When Ruby’s stubborn expression remained, Glynda leaned forward. “However… I would never deny a huntress’s willingness to improve herself and the fact that you noticed my assistance at all is an excellent sign.”

 

Ruby blinked. “It is? I mean, it’s kinda hard to miss someone saving your life, isn’t it? Twice, actually. Did I ever thank you for that? I don’t think I thanked you for that.”

 

“You’d be surprised,” Glynda said, sidestepping the question. She set down her plate and moved to stand behind her desk. “Too often huntsmen and huntresses allow the fear—or even the thrill—of battle to otherwise cloud their perception. Without consciously working against it, your vision will narrow down to only the Grimm in front of you. You will think of and notice nothing else. I suspect that’s what happened during your mission, yes?”

 

More like her vision had become nothing but a black blur of Grimm due to her semblance. Ruby got what Glynda meant though. Yang, Blake, Weiss... they all just disappeared for a time.

 

Ruby nodded.

 

“The skill you need to develop then is one of attention. Speed is certainly a factor, the ability to react to what you perceive, but far harder than that is learning how to notice what’s around you and maintaining that level of awareness, even while your life is on the line. A sort of battle multitasking.”

 

“... okay,” Ruby said.

 

Glynda spread her arms. “What do you see, Ms. Rose?”

 

Ruby grinned. “Are you gonna tell me you see lives that could have been saved? Ah... um, never mind, that’s Dr. Oobleck—never mind. Uh… I see books, paper... um, knick-knacks, oh! You have a collapsible spear!”

 

“Very good.” Glynda’s tone brought her back on track. “The point is you notice things, quite obviously, but you need to notice details too.” She pointed sharply. “This isn’t just ‘a book,’ it’s _Semblance Semantics_ by Gen Futhers. It has a red cover and appears rather worn. Similarly, that spear you’re so interested in is an antique. Beyond the fact that it rests on a stand, you may note the crack along the handle and the rust surrounding the tip. The usefulness of such details is in your analysis of them. If I were to attack you right now, when you are without your weapon and in a vulnerable position, _but_ you were to notice all that about the spear, you’d determine that it is _not_ the best object to defend yourself with.”

 

“… It’s probably gonna break with one hit,” Ruby murmured.

 

“Exactly. On the other hand, this letter opener looks particularly sharp and is well within your reach. That seems a far better option, despite the fact that it is not a weapon in the traditional sense. Now, apply the same sort of analysis to your teammates. Don’t just notice that Ms. Schnee is there, learn to notice her body language, expressions, minute reactions that will tell you what she needs at any given moment. Read her as you would the potential weapons in this room.” Glynda tapped a finger against her lips. “Of course, you then need to apply that to every person you fight beside. This is why familiarity cannot be underestimated, the intuition that comes with knowing someone intimately.”

 

“But you didn’t know me,” Ruby pointed out.

 

“Yes. Which is why the rest comes down to practice.”

 

With a sharp gesture Glynda sent the room into motion: the food slipped out of Ruby’s grasp and the plates slotted themselves among the books, the desk pushed itself up against the door—effectively blocking her escape—and the chair she’d been sitting in gently tipped forward, depositing Ruby on her feet before sliding up against the wall. While all this was happening Glynda had taken about six sheets of paper from the desk and poured ink onto all of them. Instead of sinking through though, the ink sat patiently atop the paper as Glynda floated the sheets up into the air. They surrounded Ruby in a circle and then the ink began to shift, into a smiley face, a 3, a pinecone, a ship… Ruby didn’t get through them all, distracted by Glynda stepping in front of her, riding crop raised like a sword.

 

“Wait, wait, you’re _actually_ going to fight me?” Ruby cried.

 

“It will be good for you to practice in an enclosed space. You’ve been spoiled with open fighting grounds and that scythe of yours.”

 

“Oh,” Ruby said faintly. She didn’t feel very spoiled.

 

But the mention of Crescent Rose reminded her of its absence and she tensed, eyeing the letter opener that was now way across the room. Ruby completely lost her footing though when Glynda chuckled. Actually _chuckled_.

 

“Good,” she said, “But you won’t need that. All I want you to do is pay attention.” Glynda pointed to the floating papers, which Ruby now realized were changing their image every few seconds.

 

“Okay,” she said, relaxing a bit.

 

“I also want you to dodge,” and Ruby just barely managed to twist as a bolt of energy came hurtling her way.

 

***

 

Professor Port was having an all around jolly day. Morning classes had been thrilling as always (though he had to be sure he didn’t give away _all_ his best stories. Not yet anyway), he’d grabbed an early lunch with Bart, shared drinks with Ozpin, and finished a lovely lecture about Ursai just moments before... the only downside was that young Ms. Rose had been missing from class today.

 

A student playing hooky? Ha! Hardly a rarity! But Ms. Rose had a particular talent for finding trouble and apparently her team hadn’t seen her since Glynda’s class some hours before. Thus, Port was duty bound—as a teacher and as a huntsman!—to check up on their youngest pupil.

 

Which was what had now brought him here.

 

Port stopped outside Glynda’s office, hoping she might have some insight about their wayward student. He raised his hand to knock, when—

 

_A shout of power, a high-pitched shriek of alarm, something shattering, another thing cracking, the sizzling of two semblances fighting for control, and within this the oddest of conversations—_

_”Blue! Table! Dog!”_

_“_ Dogs _. How many?”_

_“Uh—four!”_

_“Wrong!”_

Port slowly lowered his hand. His mustache twitched.

 

“Ms. Rose is a talented huntress in training,” he announced, seemingly to himself. “I’m sure she’s _fine_.”

 

Huntsman or no, Port felt absolutely no shame as he turned and fled.

 

***

 

Ruby lay on the floor of Glynda’s office, panting like a hard worn mutt Her teacher stood over her with arms on her hips, her clothes and hair completely immaculate—though those were the only things that were. The rest of the room was a mess of paper, scorch marks, and variously destroyed objects. Ruby watched in awe as things started piecing themselves back together and groaned that Ms. Goodwitch had the energy to fix the room. The whole room!

 

When she was done Glynda raised her eyebrows, almost teasingly. “What are the papers doing now, Ms. Rose?”

 

“Spinning.”

 

“Mm.”

 

It was true enough. Ruby didn’t need to crane her neck and see because _everything_ was spinning, her body worn in a way it hadn’t been since... well, since Uncle Crow used to train her. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d used her semblance so much, certainly not in so small a space, the confinement forcing her to duck and turn and change direction more often than she’d like. To say nothing of those stupid papers.

 

What’s on your right? Your left? Behind you? What color? How big? How many? Now guard it. Seize it. Get it out of harm’s way. Can you leave it for a moment? Is it worth crossing the room? Nope, sorry, the pencil I’m controlling just stabbed it from behind—your pretty paper is dead.

 

Ruby groaned at the memory. She’d gotten a little mad then, Ms. Goodwitch’s taunt hitting too close to home... the white paper a little too much like Weiss when Ruby was pumped up on adrenaline. She’d attacked Ms. Goodwitch then, employing the hand-to-hand Uncle Crow had taught her, but everything felt small and unwieldy without her scythe. Ms. Goodwitch had blocked her with ease and after that she’d added offense to it all: answer her questions, guard the papers, control your semblance, _and_ look for openings to attack. She’d only managed to land one hit during the whole... how long had she been here?

 

Ruby hadn’t realized she’d said that last bit out loud.

 

“Almost four hours now,” Glynda said, pulling a pretty pocket watch from the folds of her skirt. “Ah... and you’ve missed Peter’s class. I’m sorry about that. I’ll be sure to speak with him about your absence.”

 

“... I think I heard him at one point.”

 

Glynda titled her head. “Really?”

 

“Or, you know, hallucination. Could be that too.” With a whine Ruby heaved herself into a sitting position, looking up at her teacher. “That was _fun_.”

 

“You did well,” she praised and offered Ruby a hand. When she was sure she wouldn’t topple over, Glynda retrieved the miraculously untouched sandwiches... and the plate of cookies. “Here, take these with you. I fear you missed lunch as well. You’ll need the calories after your appetite returns. No dilly dallying now. Back to your room, eat what you can, and go straight to bed. _No_ , I don’t care what time it is. Have your team wake you for dinner. You need rest after that.” Glynda’s voice softened. “I don’t normally work my students that hard.”

 

Ruby nodded dazedly. A part of her sort of questioned that—she wasn’t hard in class??—but the rest of her was too tired to care. The plates drooped heavily in her hands and Ruby’s feet felt like lead as she turned towards the door.

 

“Can we do that again?” she asked faintly.

 

“Yes. _Later_.”

 

“Okay. Thanks, Ms. Goodwitch.”

 

“You’re very welcome. Ah, and Ms. Rose?” A warm hand settled on Ruby’s back gently guiding her through the door.

 

“Asking for my autograph? That has always been thanks enough.”

 

***

 

Thursday morning, Ms. Goodwitch’s Aura class, and Ruby was still beyond exhausted. She barely moved when Nora nudged her sharply in the back, leaning down from her seat.

 

“I still can’t believe you went off and had awesome training without us,” she whispered fiercely.

 

Beside Ruby, Weiss nodded. “You should have brought us with you,” she hissed. “We’re your team.”

 

Yang chuckled. “Not me. I don’t want the extra work. More power to ya though, sis.”

 

“I think you’re Ms. Goodwitch’s favorite now,” Blake said. “Maybe you’ll get extra credit.”

 

“Or harder tests,” Ren countered.

 

Pyrrah smiled. “Either way, you should be proud, Ruby.”

 

“You’re nuts.”

 

With Jaune’s two cents thrown in, Ruby groaned, briefly resting her head against the desk. Only for a moment through, because Ms. Goodwitch was finishing her lecture and moving on to the practical demonstration.

 

“Like this,” she said and Ruby did her best to perk up. Glynda raised her riding crop and five red balls floated over from the back of the room. “My semblance is particularly suited for delicate work,” the balls began spinning in intricate patterns before her, slowly picking up speed, “but all of you must strive to gain as much control over your own abilities as possible. Learning, for example, how to hit someone in order to knock them out, rather than kill.” Yang straightened as Glynda’s gaze landed on her. “Or how to embrace creativity.” Blake nodded. “... or even control speed.”

 

Ruby gulped.

 

“The importance of practice cannot be understated. Even a little bit of work each day can make an enormous differ—oh!”

 

One of the red balls, now moving at an extraordinary speed, suddenly shot off course. Ruby didn’t see it. She’d ducked her head after getting called out, desperately pretending to scribble down notes. Her eyes were fixed entirely on her paper. All Ruby knew was that one moment her hand held her pencil, the next her fingers were wrapped around something soft. The class gasped.

 

Ruby looked up and found the wayward ball an inch from Weiss’ face, her hand keeping it from making contact. Ruby blinked at the sudden, peripheral memories: Weiss’ expression a second past, a gust of wind as something rushed by, the barely-there blur of red. Ruby gapped at the red splash that was _not_ covering the white of Weiss’ dress.

 

“Very good, Ms. Rose.”

 

Ruby’s head whipped back. Ms. Goodwitch raised her hand to call the balls back to her. She wasn’t smiling, but she did have a rather distinctive look in her eye. “And my apologies, Ms. Schnee. The lapse just goes to show that there is no such thing as perfection. You can never practice enough.”

 

“Lapse my ass,” Yang muttered, looking at Ruby in appreciation. “I take it back. I’m tagging along next time.”

 

“Same,” Blake said.

 

“Same,” Weiss echoed. “... and thanks.”

 

“Welcome,” Ruby whispered back. She sat up as straight as she could, listening to JNRP whisper similar promises to join her during the next, impromptu training session. Ruby didn’t think Ms. Goodwitch would mind.

 

She caught her eye then. That look was still there. Ms. Goodwitch knew that she knew, and Ruby thought she looked pretty happy about it too.

 

Glynda clapped her hands sharply, regaining their attention.

 

“So, shall we get started?”


	3. Headmaster Ozpin

Mindfulness and perception followed Ruby everywhere now, like a second weapon she kept cleaned and oiled next to Crescent Rose. She kept it close and applied it whenever she could, becoming so used to noticing that she almost _didn’t_ notice... which was why she nearly missed the second presence at her back.

 

Alone out by Beacon’s pond, Ruby should have felt at least a hint of unease. But there was no one who would harm her here, and she knew that shadow pretty well now.

 

“Hey there, Headmaster.”

 

If Ruby wanted to congratulate herself on noticing him, it was lessened somewhat by Ozpin’s position: sitting rather languidly on the bench, feet stretched out in the grass like he’d been there a while. Maybe he had. In fact, Ruby would bet cookies on it.

 

“How’d you do that?” she asked softly. It seemed like a soft kind of moment.

 

Ozpin raised his eyebrows, rather teasing. “Do what?”

 

Ruby huffed. “You know what. Sitting there for however long you were sitting there for, before you let me notice you.” She shrugged at his surprised look. “Ms. Goodwitch is teaching me how to pick up on details and...uh... how’d she put it... ? Oh! ‘Be mindful of your surroundings, so much so that nothing can get past your defenses.’”

 

“That does sound like Glynda...” Ozpin let out a laugh, patting the space beside him. Ruby sat. She wasn’t sure she appreciated the look Ozpin was giving her though.

 

“What?” she asked.

He shook his head. “Nothing. Just wondering how you can be so successful in Glynda’s teachings, so observant... and yet fail to notice the _time_.” Ozpin produced a pocket-watch and dangled it before her. The hands pointed to a good hour past curfew.

 

“Shoot!” Ruby gripped at her hair. “Aw, sir, I’m sorry. I swear I didn’t realize—”

 

Ozpin chuckled kindly. “It’s alright, Ruby, I’m far from mad. If anything, it’s a pleasure to see you taking your studies so seriously.” He side-eyed her, just a bit. “And I _was_ here for quite a while... chocolate?”

 

The clock had been replaced by a green bag of sweets and Ruby took one without hesitation, then a couple more when Ozpin left the bag enticingly between them. Though they all had the same silver wrapper on the outside and appeared to look the same, each was a surprise when Ruby bit into it. She got milk chocolate, then dark, raspberry filling, something that tasted faintly of almonds... the unexpectedness was as neat as the taste itself and Ruby had plowed through a significant portion before it occurred to her that this might be... well. Rude.

 

“Uh...” Ruby quickly wiped a bit of peanut butter from her lip. “Sorry? Training sorta makes me hungry...”

 

Ozpin shook his head. “I wouldn’t have offered the bag if they weren’t for you to eat. I come prepared now, after you so successfully demolished that plate of cookies.” He nudged the bag again, despite Ruby’s expression, and she dutifully stuffed another chocolate into her mouth, if only to postpone having to say anything.

 

Ozpin kindly changed the subject. “Did you know that power is often linked to an excessive love of sweets?”

 

Ruby’s eyes popped. “Mm mmm!”

 

“I say ‘linked’...” Ozpin waved a hand. “It’s perhaps more honest for me to say that I have _noticed_ a _potential_ link between the two. Those with extraordinary semblances and fighting prowess have a tendency to crave foods high in fats and sugars, perhaps because their bodies need the extra calories...or perhaps I’m simply reading into thing, as they say.” He smiled. “But you may have noticed that your instructors indulge in more subtle ways. Ms. Goodwitch, for example, has a particular fondness for gingersnaps. Bart puts so much cream and sugar into his coffee that it’s hardly coffee at all. Others bypass that entirely and go straight to hot chocolate...”

 

Ozpin bent, retrieved the white mug at his feet, and toasted her.

 

Ruby stared.

 

It hit her randomly nowadays: this strange feeling of having a relationship with her headmaster. It wasn’t like this with her other professors, not even Oobleck, and Ruby had actually traveled with him, lived at his side. The feeling was similar in temperament to what she had with Uncle Qrow... but Ozpin wasn’t family. Not technically.

 

The only thing Ruby could settle on was that he was a friend. Or something like it. Which made this little speech all the more weird.

 

“Is that why you let me come here?” Ruby asked and was pretty relieved when Ozpin immediately shook his head.

 

“No, no. I let you into my school for a number of reasons, but chief among them was because you wanted to come and because you _asked_.” Ozpin took an easy sip of his drink. “Between you and me, you aren’t the only student who got here largely out of perseverance—though your ability to _remain_ speaks far more highly of your skill set, of course.”

 

Ruby squinted at him in the dark. She hadn’t understood a lot of that, frankly. What student had gotten here just because they wanted to? Weiss? No, she had money, sure, but Ruby knew better than anyone that she had the talent too, even more now that she’d joined Ms. Goodwitch’s training. Besides, she couldn’t imagine Ozpin accepting a bribe from anyone (no matter how hopefully Nora remained). So who...?

 

“Don’t think too much on it, Ruby,” Ozpin said. “I shared my little theory only to pass the time... and perhaps to ease your mind about helping yourself to chocolate.”

 

“And to answer my question.”

 

Ruby said it far more decisively than she was feeling, but Ozpin’s smile told it all. Yang, with sisterly status, had a tendency to tease Ruby about her ‘simpleness,’ as she called it, but even she could work out the basic logic: Ozpin had controlled exactly when Ruby could sense him. Powerful people apparently liked sweets... and it certainly hadn’t escaped her notice that he’d been sneaking two chocolates for every one she had.

 

Just then there was a flash of silver as Ozpin tucked another wrapper into his pocket.

 

“Perhaps you’re right,” he said and that was even more of an answer than Ruby had expected. Ozpin had the same expression as when he’d pointed out her silver eyes, and a spark reminiscent of when he’d announced her leadership. Ruby knew by now that Ozpin wouldn’t admit too much straight out—let alone give her an explanation. He’d only release hints: tiny implications of power in the unwrapping of sweets.

 

Maybe understanding that, even accepting it, was some sort of perception too.

 

So Ruby stretched. She found the last chocolate at the bottom of the bag, split it in half—caramel, sticky in the middle—and dropped the larger bit into Ozpin’s waiting hand. She didn’t feel like standing up again. The exercise she’d been working on was a simple one: dodge the fireflies. Beacon’s campus swarmed with them after dark, especially around the lake, and though Ruby had always loved throwing herself into their midst, now the silly game was actually helping her. Weaving in and out of such tiny targets was no easy task, even with her semblance, but with a better sense of the world around her—and a healthy appreciation for history, why she _needed_ these skills—Ruby was managing. Succeeding, even.

 

Ozpin noticed her gaze, poised on the lights dancing before them. “You’ve been busy lately,” he said and Ruby recognized it for the praise it was.

 

How do you thank someone for the simple things? Like words and chocolate? Passion... or even just a bit of your time? Ruby figured that continuing the conversation was as good a way as any.

 

“What are you doing out anyway?” she asked. Maybe small talk should have come first... but when had they ever done thing’s ‘right’?

 

That was so boring.

 

Ozpin slid down the bench a bit. He smiled up at the stars. “I’m enjoying my night, Ruby,” he said. “You?”

 

“Same, sir. Same.”

 

~fin. 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "The task of the modern educator is not to cut down jungles, but to irrigate deserts." - C.S. Lewis


	4. Headmaster Ozpin (2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't intend to add more to this series... but I was suddenly craving the canon RWBY universe, a quick break from Beyond the Path. 2k into this I realized there's a lot more about the Beacon staff I want to explore, so they'll be more chapters at some point in the future :) 
> 
> This story ended up VERY different than I intended. See the end notes if you'd like the original plan.

“Back again, Ms. Rose?”

 

Ruby looked up from her spot on the floor, books piled in her lap and a string of licorice dangling halfway out of her mouth. It was, as always, an adorable image, even moreso when the young girl’s eyes popped comically wide, her homework flying every which way as she scrambled to her feet.

 

Ozpin gazed down fondly—though he’d schooled his features by the time Ruby looked back up.

 

“Mm wowwry,” she mumbled, licorice bobbing.

 

“I’m afraid I don’t speak Full Mouth.”

 

Ruby blushed. She bit the candy, swallowing hard, and hid the rest of it behind her back. With an embarrassed grin she tried again. “I’m sorry. I was just... uh...” She looked down at the odd nest she’d made.

 

It certainly was something. Ruby had shucked her cloak and used it as a pillow-blanket combo, spreading out all her work (as well as some snacks) in a half circle. There were crumbs on the floor and a scuff from her boots, none of which would have been very notable if they hadn’t been directly outside the Headmaster’s office.

 

Ozpin pulled his elevator keys from his pocket, dangling them briefly. “Why don’t we go inside, hmm?”

 

Ruby nodded and by the time he’d opened the door the blast of wind and rose petals had gathered up all Ruby’s things.

 

In all honesty Ozpin wasn’t nearly as surprised to see Ruby as he appeared—and it had nothing to do with sensing her all the way down from the courtyard. No, Ruby seemed to be developing a surprisingly close-knit relationship with most of her instructors. Bart was a given—you didn’t fight side by side in the battles they had without developing some sort of camaraderie, no matter the age difference—and he knew all about her extra training with Glynda. Ozpin had been quite pleased to speak with her that night by the lake, though he hadn’t expected anything to come of it. Ruby’s arrival two days later, complete with shy glances and a rambled request to just ‘hang out’... _that_ had been the surprise.

 

She’d kept returning too. He honestly wasn’t sure what to make of it.

 

Walking out into his office Ozpin set his mug and cane on his desk, watching as Ruby threw herself into the guest chair and a couple of candies tumbled out of her pocket. He’d have guessed she was only here for the free food if she didn’t bring so much of it herself.

 

“Gumdrop?” she asked and Ozpin smiled, shaking his head. Ruby popped the sweet into her mouth and went back to looking at the floor.

 

Hmm.

 

“Perhaps something more substantial?”

 

It was almost lunch after all. Just a few minutes after Ozpin had sent a request through his scroll Sandy came in with Beacon’s generic selection for guests: a variety of sandwiches, chips, fresh fruit, and tea. He smiled his thanks and when she was gone Ozpin supplemented the meal with his own addition, a plate of cookies from his personal kitchenette, baked just that morning.

 

“Sweets last,” he reminded Ruby and she guiltily snatched her hand back, turning instead to pick up a sandwich.

 

The effect was immediate though. Just having something to do with her hands seemed to relax Ruby and Ozpin felt better seeing the tension ease out of her shoulders. He’d realized over the course of her first year here that food was quite important to Ruby. Or rather, what food tended to represent: community, family, conversation, something warm and soothing to ease one’s soul after a long day of battle. Whether Ruby realized this or not, Ozpin was quite in agreement with her.

 

He selected the chicken salad for himself.

 

“Did something happen?” Ozpin asked softly, watching Ruby nibble at a strawberry. She shook her head.

 

“Was there something in particular you wanted to discuss with me?”

 

Another shake.

 

With a small sigh Ozpin set down his mug. “Then you must forgive my confusion. You are young, Ruby. Popular. It’s a gorgeous Friday afternoon and the weekend is waiting...” Ozpin gestured to the large windows behind him. Sun did indeed shine through, small rainbows hitting the desk and the sound of the student body rising up, slightly muted. They could both hear laughter though. “Surely you have better things to do than spend time with your boring headmaster.”

 

“You’re not boring!” Ruby cried and Ozpin very nearly laughed. Ah, what a world they were living in if he needed his personality defended by a child. Still, he inclined his head briefly in thanks.

 

“I simply mean,” he said, “that there are others out there who would enjoy your company.”

 

Ruby blew out a breath.

 

Her first visit after that night had just been for a brief ‘thank you’ between classes, shoving a new bag of caramels into Ozpin’s hands to make up for the ones she’d eaten. Then Ruby had stopped by for more leadership advice—though he’d gotten the distinct impression that her questions were just a screen for something else. When Ruby had stepped out of the elevator earlier this week, arms overflowing with budget files of all things, brightly exclaiming that she’d told Ms. Goodwitch that she’d bring them over for her and asking if she could stay for just a little bit... well, Ozpin admitted to a bit of worry.

 

And he hadn’t been lying a moment before. Despite past and power, Ozpin considered himself to be a singularly boring man. He ran his school. He read. He spouted morals that he’d been told grated adults’ nerves and put the students straight to sleep. The idea that vibrant Ms. Rose would actively seek him out for companionship—especially given other options—was quite the impossibility.

 

Which left only one explanation. She had a problem in need of solving.

 

The sooner Ozpin unraveled what that problem was, the sooner Ruby could go back to living her life.

 

He let her think over his comment and Ozpin was surprised to see Ruby giving it considerable thought, head bent as she continued alternating between sandwich and fruit. She’d devoured a considerable amount before finally looking up, teeth now gnawing her lower lip instead.

 

“It’s gonna sound weird,” she said quietly.

 

Ozpin leaned forward. “I quite like ‘weird.’”

 

That got a small smile out of her—as he’d hoped it would—and Ruby set her plate aside, drawing her legs up onto the chair and crossing them. She still had her cloak off and draped in her lap. She wrung it between her hands.

 

“Okay.” Ruby drew in a deep breath. “Have you been to Patch? Oh wait, I bet you’ve been everywhere huh? Well, um, then you probably know that it’s quiet there. Like _super_ quite. Especially out in the woods. And yeah I got used to lots of people at Signal and then Yang told me to make more friends which I _did_ but sometimes everything and everyone is so loud. Which sounds stupid, right? I’m loud. But I don’t always like _being_ loud. And I think Weiss is kinda the same so I tried working in the library with her, but she just kept pointing out all of formulas I was getting wrong on Professor Peach’s homework.”

 

Ruby paused here, scowling adorably, but Ozpin kept his mouth shut. She was energetic alright and sometimes the best course action was no action at all. Let her talk it all out.

 

After another beat of silence she continued,

 

“So then I tried reading with Blake, but her phone kept going off the whole time and Yang just wants to hang with her other friends, and Ren and Pyrrha are great, they’re _so_ great, but they’re also always with Jaune and Nora... So. Um. That’s not quiet, exactly. But then,” Ruby started bouncing slightly in her seat. “ _Then_ Professor Port gave me detention for sleeping in class—I swear I didn’t mean to!—but I organized papers with him and that was good.” Ruby stopped again, seemingly puzzled. “And I really liked the missions with Dr. Oobleck. Like the downtime we have. And Ms. Goodwitch sometimes let’s me sleep after our sparring sessions. And then with you out by the lake...” Ruby finally looked up. “It’s just... a better kind of quiet. I don’t know how to explain it. You guys just... get it.” She blinked, seemingly unable to articulate further.

 

Ozpin understood though. It didn’t surprise him in the least that Ruby was looking for a quiet place every once in a while. Every hunter and huntress needed those moments—no matter how normally hyperactive they were. He was, however, slightly taken aback by her choice. Impressed too. After all, it normally took many more years to discover that certain groups of fighters ‘got it’ more than others. Those who’d tested their skills in the wild. Who’d fought monsters with human faces. Those few and far between who understood that there was something larger at play. Ruby ‘got it.’ She always had. Now, it seemed, she sought others who understood it too.

 

Ozpin nodded slowly. “Would you like to know something, Ruby?”

 

“Mmm?”

 

“That’s called ‘maturity.’”

 

The expression Ruby pulled was both extreme and comical. “Pfff. What? _No_. Nobody’s ever called me mature before!”

 

Ozpin smiled. “No? Then they should pay closer attention...and perhaps think about why I let you jump ahead two years.”

 

Ruby titled her head. That was enough philosophy for one day though. Ozpin gently pushed the plate of cookies her way. “Come as often as you’d like. My door is always open.”

 

And just like that Ruby was her bubbly self again, snatching up a handful of treats and spraying crumbs as she thanked him again and again.

 

Ruby did calm though—picking up her homework, settling in—and when she did Ozpin caught the change: the newly relaxed posture, a more thoughtful expression, silver eyes glinting in the sunlight. He watched Ruby inconspicuously over his book and in that moment Ozpin realized something too.

 

His company _was_ the solution.

 

Oh dear.

 

***

The next thing Ozpin realized was that his door was not, literally, open. Figuratively perhaps, but as Ruby had already discovered there were only two ways into the elevator that led up to his office: using the set of old-fashioned keys he kept on his belt, or through the electronic scroll code that only a few like Glynda and James possessed. Were she to ever have need of that space, Ruby would once again be forced to camp outside the doors, quite unbecomingly.

Walking leisurely across his campus, Ozpin considered the possibility that he shouldn't allow a child unlimited access to his workspace. Then again, he trusted Ruby... which was more than he could say for many adults.

"You’re out early," Glynda murmured, walking beside him. Ozpin acknowledged that with a nod and continued on towards the CCT Tower, half hoping that she would just leave him to his errand. No such luck. Glynda picked up her pace to match his, casting Ozpin a rather suspicious glance. He carefully kept his gaze on the path in front of him.

"A beautiful Saturday, isn't it?" he said.

Glynda scoffed. "Don't even try it. I saw the note in your calendar. Who's the access code for then? Surely not Qrow. Please don't tell me you've gone that soft on him."

Interesting. Ozpin believed he was rather hard on Qrow, all things considered; demanding more of him than any one man should ever have to give. Glynda was of the opinion that he kept Qrow out of his office to protect both his secrets and his liquor cabinet. Quite the opposite. Qrow worked harder than any of them and were he to visit—unless he was explicitly in Ozpin's company with a job to complete—there was no reason why he should be doing more. Let the man enjoy visiting his former institution in peace.

Better yet, let him enjoy spending time with his niece. Ozpin was coming to realize that there were many benefits to enrolling Ruby early. Far more than he'd counted on.

"No," he answered simply. "It's not for Qrow."

They continued off campus together, students and civilians alike casting them curious glances. Ozpin was used to it and he smiled or waved indulgently at anyone who returned the favor, stopping briefly once or twice to exchange pleasantries. The CCT Tower remained a monumental example of humanity's accomplishments—their strive for peace too—and Ozpin laid a hand on the wall fondly as they passed inside. Together he and Glynda entered the Information Technology department and were greeted by a smiling Atlas technician. Bright-eyed with her dog's tail wagging, she was very eager to help.

"I'm glad," Ozpin said, answering her declaration, "but I fear I've nothing particularly challenging for you today. I merely need to upload an access code to another CCT scroll."

"Of course, Headmaster." The woman took his own scroll, slotting it into her computer. A highly redacted version of Ozpin's user information popped up on the mainframe. "I just need to know the location and the ID number of the individual you want to add."

"It's the elevator leading to my private office--the information should all be there—though I'm afraid I've never had a good head for numbers."

Ozpin kept a benign smile fixed in place, even as he could feel Glynda's stare and a single, traitorous bead of sweat rolling down his back.

"Her name is Ruby Rose—" he got out and then Glynda's disbelieving shriek distracted them all.

***

'Completely irresponsible.'

'Inane decision making.'

'Utterly blatant favoritism that’s likely to get you fired some day...'

These were just a few of the accusations leveled at Ozpin as he and Glynda made their way back to campus. He bought himself a bit of a reprieve by shooting an email off to Ruby (a simplified explanation that she could now access his office whenever she chose), but eventually Ozpin had to look back up, and when he did Glynda's glare was fearsome.

Silver eyes were meant to denote true warrior spirits. He wondered idly what the old tales said about green eyes.

"I'd like an explanation for this," she insisted, finally grabbing hold of Ozpin's arm to halt him. Glynda sighed then, taking off her glasses to rub briefly at her eyes. She now looked more resigned than anything else. "I'm not stupid, Oz."

"Far from it," he murmured and Glynda shot him another glare.

"I know you've taken an... extensive interest in Ms. Rose, and I'll be the first to admit that you were right to allow her in here." At his look Glynda scowled. " _Yes_. She's flourishing, I won't deny it, and despite my frustration with your... lenient nature, I do trust you. You know I do. I just want to be sure you've really thought this one out." Glynda spread her arms. "Why risk it?"

In truth Ozpin hadn't thought things out, not really—which was quickly becoming a nasty habit of his where Ruby was concerned—but he ignored that little detail entirely, instead tilting his head as he regarded Glynda. Ozpin took a long sip of his drink before asking, "Risk what? Do you think Ms. Rose would betray me in some manner?" Ozpin smiled. "If she should even find anything of true importance in there." His office wasn't 'bare' by any means, though it certainly appeared that way to the untrained eye.

Glynda crossed her arms. "You know that's not what I mean, but mistakes happen. Anything might. She's only a kid, Oz, and you're giving her an awful lot of free reign. And for what? A little bit of comfort? So she feels special?"

"She is special." Ozpin took another sip. "They all are."

"That's not an answer."

"Perhaps not, but I think we're in agreement about one thing: there's nothing truly _little_ about this situation." He laid a hand on Glynda's shoulder, ignoring her puzzled look. "It will be fine. Of all the things for you to worry about, this shouldn't be one of them."

Glynda sighed. "Perhaps not... but if something does go wrong you will not come running to me to fix it."

Ozpin chuckled. "When have I ever?"

" _Constantly_."

"Hmm," and he set off for the library, quick enough that he wouldn't have to consider that truth too closely.

***

In the end, it shocked him how quickly he and Ruby fell into a routine.

She didn't visit constantly as she had at the start and Ozpin could only assume that those initial, jittery invasions only felt like such because of Ruby's nerves, a sinking uncertainty about where they stood—or, as she'd so aptly put it, whether he'd think her 'weird' for requesting such a thing from her headmaster. It was admittedly a little odd at first, though when had he ever catered to expectations? Ozpin certainly had no desire to start now.

So at their core things were rather simple. Once or twice a week Ruby would escape the hectic life of a would-be huntress and creep up to his office to do work, read, or sometimes just to sit and look outside. Despite her hyperactive nature, Ruby was unfailing polite about her use of his space and more than once Ozpin looked up from reports and plans to find her still curled in the guest chair, having quite forgotten that she was there. It was after one of those moments—watching growing limbs hanging awkwardly over armrests—that Ozpin had a couch moved into his office, ignoring Glynda's looks the entire while. It was green and rather comfortable. A perfectly logical purchase.

Ruby thanked him for the new seat by gifting him with a throw. It was, of course, red and clashed somewhat atrociously with the couch's coloring... but where was the fun in safe aesthetics? Ozpin kept in draped on the back for her and was known to use it himself on occasion, long after hours when the nights were cool.

Ruby still brought endless sweets in her pockets and Ozpin still supplied lunch or dinner whenever the timing was right. Sometimes Ruby would pop her head in between classes, only to find him engaged with someone else and she'd scurry out, disrupting nothing and leaving only a few petals in her wake. On a few occasions Ozpin returned to find the smell of Ms. Schnee's perfume hanging in the air, or a few long blonde strands of hair on the couch, or a rather racy book left accidentally between the cushions ( _that_ had caused quite the embarrassment for Ms. Belladonna). Never once did he find the place unkempt after such occurrences and, truth be told, he was thrilled that Ruby felt comfortable enough to bring her team here.

Wonderful, to treasure such small things. What Ozpin valued most though were their conversations.

"He's fiiiiine," Ruby insisted, referring to one Mr. Arc and his seemingly endless difficulties with Mr. Winchester. She nibbled on the edge of her pen before adding, "I mean yeah, that jello thing at lunch was kinda mean, but he and Cardin aren't really fighting anymore. I think Cardin just does it for, like..."

"For appearances sake?"

"Yeah. That."

Interesting. Of course, very little went on in his school that Ozpin didn't know about, but it was still reassuring to hear that Mr. Winchester's antagonism was waning. There were more deserving targets for that boy's creative cruelty.

"Plus," Ruby said, "if he does get really mean again Nora will break his legs. _Jaune_ might even break his legs someday. He and Pyrrha have been training. I think they think it's some big secret... but it's not."

Ozpin chuckled. "I see. And how goes your training with Ms. Goodwitch?"

In response Ruby gasped, scrambling to her feet, papers and books flying, and Ozpin was quite taken aback when she shoved her long sleeves up to show him a series of familiar, energy-blast patterned bruises.

"She's _so strong_ ," Ruby gushed. "And fast! I mean I'm fast, but Ms. Goodwitch..." Ruby shook her head. "I couldn't dodge this one and it went right through my Aura. I still haven't been able to heal it. I'm just so _tired_." She said 'tired' like another kid would say 'excited.' Ruby flopped back onto the couch with an ecstatic grin, kicking her legs up and letting out a laugh.

Ozpin regarded her carefully over his glasses. He actually knew that Glynda felt bad about that particular injury—she hadn't exaggerated the severity—but Ruby seemed to be taking it well. Still—

"You're free to visit the infirmary," he said. Ozpin's hand was already resting on a small pad of paper. "I'm happy to write you a note for your next class."

Ruby kicked up her legs again. "Nah. I kinda like it. Yang says it's _badass_."

"...I see."

There. That right there was the joy. Ozpin hadn't realized how removed his office was from everything else he'd strived to make his school into. It was sterile, drab, and the only things that occurred there were work or meetings, a pervasive sense of dread hanging in the air from worried students and equally anxious colleagues. Ozpin loved to stand at the window and watch the students go by, though he hadn't realized just separate he'd become, literally removed from them and (arrogantly) standing above. Ruby changed all that with simple worries and calm conversation. She brought a spot of color to the room.

And yes. Ozpin enjoyed the company. Was it really awful to appreciate someone who didn't need him only for his teachings or plans?

A soft ding sounded, alerting him that someone was on their way up. Ruby turned until she was laying across the couch. She got her head situated on the armrest right as Bart walked in.

"Hi, Dr. Oobleck!" she called, waving at him upside down. Within seconds Bart was by her side, fixing his glasses to get a better look.

"Hello, Ms. Rose. Capital day, isn't it? Why, you should be outside! Unless that's my essay I see you writing? Ah, good, good, I'd never deter you in that case. Although... you don't _honestly_ think the surrounding walls are Atlas' greatest defense, do you?"

"Um..." Ruby slowly sat up, slid the notebook into her lap, and tore the sheet out, crumpling it into her pocket. "No?"

"Hmm. Indeed."

Ozpin covered his mouth briefly with his hand.

"Did you need something, Bart?" he asked pointedly and with a surprising amount of tack Ruby began packing up her things, giving them both a quick wave before zooming for the door. Bart nodded, waiting, though Ozpin called Ruby back just before she entered the elevator.

"Ms. Rose? _Airships_."

"Really," Bart huffed as the doors closed. "I'd kindly ask you not to help my students cheat on their homework."

"So telling her not to pursue an essay on walls isn't cheating?" Ozpin poured them both tea. "How enlightening."

"I merely steered her towards a more useful path."

"As have I. Is that not why we're here? To guide them?"

"I do sometimes wonder."

Bart, as always, was incapable of standing still. He took the tea gratefully and flit from one end of the room to the other, talking animatedly about the upcoming festival and how pleased he was to be chosen as an announcer. It was after they'd gone through two cups each that Bart suddenly stopped, head titled curiously at the elevator. He turned back to Ozpin.

"She's become _much_ more studious," he commented, as if Ruby had left two minutes ago and not twenty.

Ozpin smiled over the rim of his cup. "I expect she has things worth studying for now. Perhaps even excellent history professors she wishes to impress."

"Hah," Bart sent a blinding grin Ozpin's way. "Flattery will get you everywhere, my friend."

***

Small, simple moments.

They were the kind Ozpin had learned to cherish over the years—pinpricks of hope to look back on. Experiences that, he hoped, defined him more than his mistake did.

Sadly, they never lasted.

The days grew shorter, then colder, and before Ozpin knew it winter was nearly upon them. Funny, that he who was tethered to time in such a manner would so often loose track of it. It was shocking to look up one morning and find the trees dead beneath his window, the landscape an icy color and all the students huddled for warmth. There was a chill in the air... though sadly it had little to do with the changing weather. Pieces were moving, pawns and queens beginning to step out of the shadows, and Ozpin could only hope that he was prepared for their next move. He'd grown tired lately, the kind of heavy, deep-seated tiredness that wasn't alleviated by sleep. Not that he was sleeping much as it was. There was too much to do and when his body did finally revolt, Ozpin found his sleep riddled with familiar nightmares. They were like old acquaintances, and he could do nothing but play the gracious host, offering them a seat whenever they designed to visit.

Tonight was one of those nights. He could feel it.

Ozpin rubbed at his forehead, barely suppressing a sigh.

"You okay?"

Ah, but there was some warmth. Ruby was in her usual spot on the couch, her throw and cloak piled up in her lap, a book and hot cocoa in easy reach. She had kept away the last few weeks, burdened by missions and exams, and it seemed to be a random choice that brought her to his door tonight. They hadn't done anything extraordinary, just their respective reading, but Ozpin had felt some of the tension seeping out of him as the night wore on, just through having someone sitting near. He knew that the rest of team RWBY was absent for the winter holidays: Ms. Schnee visiting her sister, Ms. Xiao Long off with a group of friends in the upper-class, and Ms. Belladonna figuratively absent, holed away in her own spot in the library. Perhaps Ruby was looking for companionship tonight too.

Or perhaps he was just an old fool.

"I'm fine," Ozpin said, though Ruby didn't look convinced. "Truly. My sleep has just been... restless lately."

Ruby nodded slowly. She gnawed at her bottom lip. "I used to have trouble sleeping," she admitted then. Quick, like ripping off a bandaid.

"Used to?" Ozpin teased, trying to lighten the mood, and Ruby obligingly stuck out her tongue.

"Okay yeah, sometimes I still get them—snakes are _creepy_ , and Ren is _mean_ , and he keeps retelling the story of the King Tajitus he fought during initiation--but not as much anymore. Not since coming here."

Ozpin moved back to the front of his desk, closing the distance between them. This happened occasionally. Little pockets of time where the world was still and truths were shared. They were rare. Ozpin handled this one like he would a piece of spun glass.

"What changed?" he asked softly.

"People," Ruby said. "I used to sneak into Dad's room when I was really little. Then Yang's. Then I came here and I didn't need to." She smiled, a soft little thing. "Weiss isn't the only one who wanted bunk beds as a kid. Nightmares are easy when you have people sleeping next to you. Do you have someone, Professor?"

It was asked with the upmost innocence and Ozpin didn't miss her little deduction about what kept him up at night. What could he do but answer her honestly?

"No," he said.

"Then sleep here."

There was a familiar bounce in her step as Ruby leapt off the couch, quickly sweeping her things onto the side table. She pulled the throw up like you would a duvet and shook it enticingly.

Ozpin cast her an amused look. "You cannot be serious."

"Yeah, I'm never serious." Ruby grinned.

"I don't make a habit of taking naps in front of my students."

"But you'll let _us_ nap here. And bring us cookies. And give us your jacket if we're cold. Uh huh, Velvet told me about that. You take care of us _all the time_. I really don't see how it's any different, Sir."

Ah. Perhaps not.

The wisdom of a simple soul.

It was slightly surreal, walking forward with silver eyes watching his every move. Ruby was a perceptive girl though and she turned to give him some semblance of privacy, skipping over to his desk and muttering just loud enough about how she could sit in the _big_ chair now. Ozpin chuckled, feeling just a touch of that awkwardness seep out of him. He toed off his shoes and laid down, suit and all. He could only imagine what he looked like: too tall and stiff as a board.

Ruby didn't say anything though. Ozpin kept his eyes fixed firmly on the ceiling, using logic to find some kind of peace. There was hardly anyone on campus right now. There was no one he was expecting. It was late, and even Salem's pawns had to take a night off. There was, in short, nothing to disturb him—and no one to judge.

No one but Ruby. And she—like her uncle, like her mother, her father, and her sister--was someone Ozpin trusted.

He was normally a man who understood time, controlled it, and catalogued its passing. Like the changing of seasons though, sometimes time passed even Ozpin by.

The next morning, he wouldn't recall when exactly his eyes slipped shut.

"Night, professor."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, I actually had a surprisingly logical dream in which Ozpin fell asleep near Ruby, had a nightmare, she tried to wake him, and he accidentally hurt her--pretty badly. I knew immediately that I wanted to explore that, how he'd deal with another "mistake" that's not tied directly to the war, how he'd react to hurting Ruby specifically... but then the story was just so lighthearted and it just didn't fit. They dodged the angst this time lol. 
> 
> I might still write that story though. We'll see if I can figure the characterization and tone out.


	5. Professor Port

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! Here we are, Professor Port as promised. I think this is one of the longer stories. I had fun with this one. Hope you enjoy reading it half as much as I enjoyed writing it~

"—and there I was, wounded, without sleep, the other Beowolves closing in, and the King Tajitu just inches from sinking its fangs into the little girl's neck. Only my grip on the beast's tale kept her from a certain, horrible fate... but my strength was waning."

Ruby sighed, trying to rest her head without making it look like she was. She'd promised Professor Ozpin she wouldn't sleep in Professor Port's class anymore, but sweet dust. How did he make epic stories so _boring_?

The rest of Team RWBY wasn't faring much better. Blake had her latest book hidden behind her folder. Weiss had stopped taking notes months ago, instead doing her other work—only jotting down the occasionally useful tip. Yang looked like she was ready to beat her head against the desk.

"It was an awful decision to be sure, but I had faced worse!"

Professor Port suddenly slammed his fist down onto the desk, startling them all. The burst of energy didn't last though. He went back to pacing the room, gesturing expansively, and all the students sank into states of semi-consciousness once more. Ruby blinked bleary eyes up at Team JNPR. Everyone looked done in there too, even Pyrrha. She shot Ruby a sleepy smile and gestured to her scroll.

A second later Ruby got a text:

_'head into the city with us this weekend? Ren needs his weapons cleaned. thought you’d like to tag along.'_

Ruby barely stifled her gasp. She turned, shooting Pyrrha an excited grin, and all she got in response was a frantic gesture to sit forward, lest Professor Port give them another detention. Ruby did as she was told, but she couldn't help the little bubble of excitement that was growing in her chest. She hadn't gotten the chance to really check out the new weaponry in ages. Not since she'd gone to the dust shop to check out the latest magazines—and that had obviously gone sideways.

Class was always better when there was something to look forward to, something more interesting than lunch. Ruby sat up straight, fairly bouncing in her seat, and ignored the look Weiss was giving her.

"...weapons shopping," she finally whispered from the corner of her mouth, too happy to keep it to herself. Weiss rolled her eyes and went back to her homework.

Professor Port, unsurprisingly, was still talking.

"—the battle nearly at its end," he said dramatically, bending his knees like he was going to jump one of them in lieu of a beowulf. In the front row Blake inched back in her seat. "I knew through my extensive experience and studies that there was only one way that everyone could come out alive—everyone but the grimm, of course! It was a move of unparalleled speed and creativity, the likes of which no normal Hunter could accomplish. Luckily for the little lady, she didn't have a normal Hunter defending her." Professor Port straightened with a proud air. He dropped a wink. "With great strength I tore the beast away from her and with great speed I got between the two of them, barely snatching her from those fangs. I could feel the little girl's hands digging into my back as I shot the monster full in the face. She climbed atop my shoulders—I, her noble steed!—and together we took down the beowolfs until there was nothing but snow.... and dispersing ash."

Professor Port finished with a bow.

"Oh come _on_."

—and the rest of the class froze.

Ruby's head whipped around to stare at Yang. No doubt she'd meant to say that a little quieter, but in the otherwise silent classroom it had been... loud. Super loud. Loud enough that the entirety of Team RWBY winced in sympathy and Team JNRP leaning down from the top seats like they were all one single, horrified person. Ruby heard a tiny gasp from somewhere on the left. Cardin started laughing off to the right. Ruby's gaze was fixed on Yang though: the utter panic that flew across her face before her features smoothed over and she leaned one arm casually on the desk. Ruby knew that look. It was the, 'Broken vase? Who, _me_? Nah, must have been Zwei' look. Except Ruby had the sinking feeling Professor Port wasn't as gullible as their dad.

Sure enough he stepped forward, two massive, heavy steps that had everyone going bug-eyed in their seats. Behind her Jaune gulped audibly.

"Busted," he whispered.

Professor Port linked his hands behind his back and leaned forward. He towered over Yang. "Something to say, Ms. Xiao Long?"

"...nope," Yang said after a lengthy pause. She popped the 'p' and flashed him a megawatt smile, but Ruby could see her leg bouncing nervously under the desk.

Professor Port leaned a little closer. "Hmm. Really? Because I could have sworn you were casting doubt on my heroic narrative..."

"Uh, sir? Sir." Weiss had raised her high in the air, waving it a little. "I'm _so_ sorry to interrupt, but we only have a few minutes left and I really didn't understand Lyson's theories regarding Beowulf evolution—"

"I highly doubt that."

They'd been relaxing again, Ruby and Blake exchanging relieved glances at Weiss' timely distraction, but the whole class stopped breathing again at that statement. Even Cardin had stopped chuckling, raising an eyebrow at Port's thunderous expression. Casting a quick glance behind her, Ruby caught Ren leaning slowly, carefully to his right to whisper to Nora. She ran her finger over her neck in a gesture screaming 'screwed.'

Yang seemed to realize it as well.

She dropped the goody-goody act. "Alright, teach. Yeah. No offense meant, _really_ , but it is a little... farfetched, don't you think?" Yang looked desperately around the room, searching for support. Ruby and Blake gave tiny, affirmative nods and it seemed to bolster her. "I'm not sayin' you've never done any of it, but _everything_? I mean day after day it's rescuing this person, and saving that town, and killing twenty-six Grimm on your own—"

"It was twenty-seven," Jaune stage-whispered and then yelped as Yang threateningly raised her fist.

"Twenty-seven," she amended, sickly sweet smile back in place. "Awesome. Seriously though. You're a super, badass Hunter. We all get it. We got it, like, a million lectures ago."

The whole class had their mouths hanging open and Ruby had bit deep into her cloak to keep from whimpering in fear. Because no one had said anything like that to Professor Port before. They'd had him as an instructor for months now, Uncle Qrow had told Ruby stories about Port from when he was at Beacon, and Professor Ozpin had mentioned offhandedly that he was one of the oldest and most esteemed instructors (during another lecture about staying awake...) He was a fixture of the Biggest and Most Important Hunter School in the History of Ever, and as far as Ruby knew, no one had ever called him out on his stories.

Jeez. Leave it to Yang.

She wanted to say something to break the tension. Ruby could feel how Weiss had just frozen beside her and Blake had slid halfway beneath the table, the rest of her now unabashedly hidden behind her book. Ruby didn't dare turn to see what JNPR looked like, but she'd bet it was pretty similar.

Ruby had actual opened her mouth to say something, anything... when Port smiled.

"Well done, Ms. Xiao Long!" he boomed and everyone jumped again. Ruby caught Nora's hissed "What?" and giggled hysterically.

Yang looked a lot like a bug-eyed Grimm, one who was suddenly faced with a Hunter who'd started tap dancing instead of fighting.

"Um... yeah, what Nora said. _What_?"

Port unfolded one arm to wag a finger in Yang's face. "It's an important quality for all Hunters and Huntresses to have," he said. "Suspicion! Disbelief! Critical thinking skills! Why, you're quite right, dear girl. You have nothing to base my stories on except my own word, and why-ever should you believe that? Because I'm devilishly handsome? Incredibly talented?"

"Though we only have your word for that second one too, sir. Ha, ha..." Ruby wilted a little when no one else laughed.

"I applaud your suspicion, Ms. Xiao Long," Port said. "And hereby issue you a challenge: prove it."

"…What?"

It was the word of the hour but now Yang had straightened in her chair, imbuing it with a marginally offended tone. Because Professor Port had gone from happy lecturing to challenging in an instant, getting all up in Yang's face again. It was kind of unnerving.

Everyone shifted uncomfortably while Weiss raised her hand again.

"I’m sorry, but prove what, sir?”

"Why, prove that I'm lying, Ms. Schnee! If you all believe such foolishness. You're all bright, determined youngsters. Put that enthusiasm to good use! Want to show the world that my stories are just tall tales? Go right ahead. I encourage you all to find proof that I've been pulling your chain. Nay, I implore you to!"

Professor Port had moved back behind his desk. No one knew what to say. Everyone just exchanged glances, wondering if this was just another joke or somehow for real. They got their answer just seconds later.

Port lifted his chin and Ruby caught sight of the slyest grin beneath his mustache.

"Anyone who _does_ prove me a liar gets automatic full marks for the term."

Oh. It was _on_.

 ***

The atmosphere outside Port's classroom was intense. Yang, Blake, Weiss, Ruby, Jaune, Pyrrha, Nora, and Ren all stood in a clustered circle just beyond the doorway, casting each other suspicious looks instead of moving onto lunch. It was a pivotal moment for them all. Friendship and team loyalty were silently, laboriously put to the test as each student weighed the harm of betraying their comrades against the promise of a perfect grade. No one spoke. No one moved. It was moments like this that truly tested their bond.

"I'd sell you all out in an instant," Nora announced cheerfully. Everyone groaned.

"Meanie," Ruby grumbled. "You can't!"

"Sure I can. I'd betray you all for, like, a muffin. And not even a good muffin. One of the cafeteria's two-week old, ultra hard, blueberry muffins."

Blake narrowed her eyes. "Blueberry is disgusting."

"Exactly!" Nora grinned. It got a little messy though as Ren laid a hand on the top of her head.

"She doesn't mean that," he said.

"I do!"

"No you don't."

"Well I don't see what all the fuss is about," Weiss sniffed. "I mean, maybe you lot want to sink down to this kind of absurdity, but it's not like the rest of us need it. Ren, Pyrrha, and I are all perfectly capable of getting a perfect score without some stupid contest."

"Actually..." Everyone turned to Pyrrha who'd gone sheepishly red. "I'm not doing too well in this class. What? I'm allowed to find him just as boring as anyone else."

Jaune had a faraway look on his face. "Oh. So that's why we both bombed that test."

"What?"

"I copied off of you."

"Jaune!"

"Naughty," Nora wagged a finger under his nose.

"Smart," Blake countered. "If you managed to copy without Pyrrha noticing, then you've really come a long way."

"...huh."

Weiss lightly shoved Blake in the shoulder. "Don't encourage him! And fine. Ren and I will opt out of this foolish—"

"I'm in," he interrupted. "It's been boring around here lately."

"Sweet dust I can't win."

"Uh... Yang?"

As Weiss complained and Nora bounced and everyone else kept up the chit-chat, Ruby couldn't help but notice that Yang was the only one not participating. She was staring straight at the ground and her hair curtained her face. Ruby couldn't see what sort of expression she was wearing, but she had the awful feeling it might not be something nice.

"Yang?" she said again. The rest of the group went quiet.

And when Yang did look up...her smile was as blinding as the sun.

"Listen up you fives because a ten is now speaking." Yang clapped her hands together and a few sparks flew between them. "The point here is to not fight amongst ourselves, but rather to beat Professor Port to a bloody, regretful _pulp_."

"Metaphorically!" Ruby said even as Nora tried to summon her hammer.

"However, that little priority aside, you all are missing one very crucial detail." Yang paused for dramatic effect. She paused so long that Jaune eventually just nudged her in the ribs. "Right! The detail is that Professor Port said _anyone_ who proved him wrong would get full credit."

"Uh, yeah?" Weiss made a frustrated gesture. "That's what we've been saying? What's your point?"

Yang leaned in close. She looked so conspiratorial that the rest of the group could only lean in with her.

"He never said that 'anyone' had to be just one person."

Eight fighters breathed and let out a sigh as one.

"We work together," Pyrrha mused.

"We work together!" Ruby exclaimed.

"We decimate him." Yang put her hand in the middle and everyone followed. Everyone from Weiss to Ren shared happy, identical smiles. Smiles that were a little crafty too.

"I hereby announce that the official RWBY-JNPR team up is a go!"

And so it began.

***

Academic expectations were high at an institution as prestigious as Beacon, and thus most students spent their weekends hitting the books—even if that often meant literally hitting them against their skulls. If you didn't study you trained. If you didn't train you were off on a mission. They were children, yes, but all had come to Beacon with a thirst and a drive; when push came to shove they were all more than willing to put their schooling ahead of any frivolities. That sort of effort was both encouraged and rewarded.

Even if the effort itself was sometimes... misplaced.

"Here's the plan. Look, I have timetables." Ruby began spreading them out on the floor of their room.

Weiss straddled her chair backwards and leaned her chin on the top rung. "Wow. You know, I'm oddly proud right now."

"Yay!"

"Please don't acknowledge that."

"It is impressive, Ruby," Pyrrha said. Most of team JNPR was piled onto Blake's bed, with the others curled up on Weiss'. Everyone leaned forward to get a closer look at Ruby in the middle, spreading papers across the floor.

"Thank you! Now, there are three teams, each with their own super important mission. Blake, Pyrrha, Jaune: you three are on research duty."

"Research?" Blake asked. Her eyes immediately jumped to the towers of books that separated her and Yang's bed. None of them were very... appropriate for the task at hand though. She whipped her head back front with a blush.

"Uh huh. If Professor Port is really telling the truth then there's gotta be records of the events, right? You guys gotta find 'em."

"Um," Jaune raised his hand tentatively. "I'm not really the researching type. Or, you know, the reading type."

Pyrrha bumped his shoulder. "C'mon. You're selling yourself short. Besides, if you apply just a little of the energy you spend reading comics we'll be done in no time."

"Heh. You think?"

"Absolutely."

"And you've gotta be with Pyrrha if she's gonna get any work done," Nora muttered. She was quickly tackled and smothered by Yang, but Ruby dropped her a wink.

"Perfect," she said. "Start with our library, but head into town if you need to. Oh, and don't forget to ask Mrs. Cerise for help too."

As a group they all groaned.

"She gives me the creeps," Nora stage-whispered. Behind her Yang propped her elbows on Nora's shoulders and nodded into her hair.

"Tell me about it. Honestly? I think she's secretly the strongest of us all."

There were iffy murmurs of agreement all around.

“You can take her,” Ruby said, nothing but splendid assurance in her voice. “Now! Yang, Weiss, you two are on conversation duty.”

Weiss’ eyebrow hit her hair. “Conversa—? Okay wait, what does that even mean? Shouldn’t I be doing the research?” 

“Nu uh. I figure it’s like this: maybe all those things did happen, but people haven’t written about it yet. After all, we’ve done all sorts of things since we got here, but that stuff won’t get into the history books for a long, long, super long time. Probably.”

“You have great confidence in your importance," Ren said.

"Thanks! So yeah, you two need to talk to, you know, everyone. Yang, I figure you can hit up all those clubs you always go to and Weiss, your name cane be super useful here, right?"

Yang leaned around Nora to fist-bump Ruby. "Leave it to me, sis. If anyone knows the crazy stories around here, it's Junior, and I have... ways of persuading him to talk."

"Please don't kill him," Blake sighed.

"I'm not gonna kill him. I’m just gonna rough him up a bit. He's so _funny_ when he squeals."

"I suppose this is an adequate assignment for me," Weiss said. While the others tired to convince Yang not to assault the local bartenders, she was still quietly preening. She smoothed her skirt and lifted her chin. "The Schnee name _is_ quite influential. It would be an honor for anyone to give us the information we seek."

Ruby rolled her eyes. "Uh huh. See? Happy Weiss. Yay. Now, for the biggest and bestest team—" she threw open her arms. "Ren, Nora, and me!"

"Alright!"

There was a crash and a yell as Nora pulled out from underneath Yang, toppling most everyone to the floor. There were pained groans. Weiss and Blake both squawked as they were pulled down into the pile. Pyrrha giggled from her spot across Jaune's knees.

"You guys still heading to the weapons shop?"

"Yes."

"Going to ask the manager about Professor Port? Two birds with one stone?"

"Yes!" There were very nearly stars in Ruby's eyes. "It's a perfect plan, right?"

Blake hesitated with a pained smile. "Well, it is a little—"

Before she could finish though Ruby had thrown herself on top of the group and everyone was too busy trying to breathe to worry about silly things like logic. It took a decent chunk of time to get all their limbs untangled, but when they did their missions were underway.

***

"I feel manipulated."

"This outta be good." Yang ran ahead down the street, dodging and weaving between pedestrians until she got to the curb. There she slid and went into a one-handed handstand, miming a skateboard above her. "What are you bitchin' about today?"

Weiss ground to a halt. "I don't bitch!"

"Fine, fine, what terrible grievance do you need to convey?"

"Oh stuff it." Weiss nudged Yang in the stomach with her boot, making her topple with an 'oof.' "You're in the same boat I am. It's clear that Ruby has given us the worst assignment, no doubt deliberately, that minx. She gets to go shopping while the others relax in our lovely, air-conditioned library. Now how is that fair?"

Yang rose, brushing off her pants. "You weren't complaining this morning."

"That's before I walked into this heat. My hair can't take this."

"There we go. That's one thing we can both agree on."

Solidarity restored they continued on down the street—Yang occasionally stopping to wave at someone she knew, Weiss looking curiously into each storefront. It was all halfhearted though because it was indeed hot, hotter than any spring day should be, and both girls were regretting their heavy boots, the long hair that was sticking to their backs. Both sighed in relief when Yang finally pointed out Junior’s Club up ahead. They hurried their pace.

“You know,” Yang said with a sudden grin. “It’s interesting that you feel you’ve been manipulated by _Ruby_ …”

“Oh do shut up.”

“Just saying, Princess.”

The doors were locked tight this time of the day, but that didn’t stop them for more than a moment. Yang wanted to blast the doors down, Weiss pointed out that in her hands a lock-pick was just as fast. She slipped one from her belt and worked with quick, precise skill.

Yang let out an appreciative whistle. “Where’d you learn to do that?”

“… Father sometimes locks my bedroom door.”

And for once Yang had no snappy comeback. She just clapped Weiss on the shoulder when the doors finally swung open.

“Ahem. Let me take care of this part. Hey, Junior! Your favorite customer is here. Why don’t you come out and play~”

There was no welcoming committee this time though, no large men with heavy guns and stupid indoor sunglasses. Yang let out a huff of disappointment, leading the way into the now familiar club, everything dark and powered down until night arrived. The bar was lit though and her face split into a grin as Junior’s soured.

“Aw hell no,” he muttered. “Not you, not now. C’mon, Blondie, I don’t have time for this today.”

“No time for me? I’m hurt, Junior, really I am.”

Not that Yang paid his complaints any mind. She saddled up to what she was beginning to think of as her seat at the bar, patting the space beside her for Weiss to join. She did, daintily, and with a massive sigh Junior grabbed some carbonated sodas out from under the bar. He poured them into fancy glasses and— _yes_ —even added a little umbrella for Yang. She beamed and clapped her hands.

“It’s easier than fighting you,” Junior drawled. “You kids have done more damage to my club than all the drunks put together. I hate the fucking school year. Pardon my language.”

Weiss merely raised an eyebrow when the last part was clearly directed at her. She took a long sip of the offered drink before saying, “We’re looking for information.”

“All business huh?” Humor crept into Junior’s voice. “You’re a bit of a frosty one.”

Yang inhaled half of her drink. “Oh my god you have no idea.”

“Shut up! Just answer the question!”

“You gotta ask me the question first, smarty pants.” Junior cocked a thumb at Weiss who’d gone tomato red in the cheeks. “Where’d you pick this girl up, Blondie?”

“Never mind. She’s weird but she’s right: just answer our questions and we’ll be out of your really terrible hair.” Yang twirled a lock of her own. “What do you know about one Peter Port?”

“The Beacon teacher? You’d know more about him than me, kid.”

“Only what he tells us and that can’t be trusted.” Weiss tapped the bar all serious-like and Junior did his damn best not to smile. “We know he’s a Hunter. We know he’s an _excellent_ Hunter, highly acclaimed, he wouldn’t be tenured at Beacon otherwise. But sometimes his stories…”

“Smell like bullshit,” Yang finished.

Junior did grin then. “Right. Like the time he wrestled a beowolf with his bare hands, tearing its head clean off? Or when he caught the claws of a Griffon and rode it into battle?”

“Exactly!”

“Yeah, all that’s true.”

It was Weiss’ turn to choke while Yang pounded her fist on the table. Her aura briefly flared. “Don’t mess with me, Junior.”

“I’m not.” He grimaced, staring mournfully at the cracks Yang had left in his bar. “Look, I get all sorts in here, mostly civilians, but a fair number of Hunters and Huntresses too. They’re all eager to talk, especially once you get some liquid courage in them.” Junior drew a breath. “They’ve sang that Port guy’s praises more times than I can say and honestly? I’ve got no reason to doubt their word. Yeah yeah,” he held up a hand to waylay them. “It all sounds nuts, don’t it? Real ego boosting kinda stuff. But what man or woman six cups deep is gonna keep all those details straight? Hell, who’d want to? If they’re gonna spread rumors, why not spread some about yourself?” Junior shook his head. “I don’t know what to tell you girls. More important, why do you care?”

They exchanged loaded, knowing glances, lips sealed shut. Instead of speaking, Weiss carefully reached into her pocket until she found a fat little stack of lien. She slid it across the bar.

“Maybe this will change your answer…”

Junior stared. “Are you trying to bribe me, kid?”

“Uh,” Weiss faltered, quickly embolden by a nudge in the ribs from Yang. “Y-yes! Yes I am.”

“Well next time you do don’t admit to it.” Junior slid back the money with a shake of his head. “Besides the fact that my answer isn’t gonna change, I do have something resembling a heart. You kids are powerful, but you're still kids, so good luck on whatever craziness you're up to and get the hell out of my bar." Junior picked up a rag and flicked it at them, like you would at a naughty cat. "Go on. I've got a party tonight to prep for."

"Oooo, are we invited?" Yang asked. Junior's expression said it all. "Fine, fine, we're leaving. Way to be lame about it though."

The girls were nearly out the door when Junior called them back.

"Hey, just a thought, but if you really want to know more about that Port guy, why not ask his husband?"

They stopped. They froze. As one Yang and Weiss turned, hesitating to look at one another and ask silently if they really wanted to hear the answer to this:

"What—" Yang began,

"—husband?" Weiss finished.

"You don't know? Those two are always out in town together. I see 'em at the cafe down at the docks. Tall guy. Green hair. Moves faster than a caffeinated hummingbird Faunus." Junior shrugged, oblivious to the girls' horrified expressions. "He's a doctor of some sort, I think."

"Oh," Weiss whispered as she was forcibly dragged out of the club by Yang. Her voice was hollow. "I see. How very nice."

They ran.

***

“This is wonderful," Jaune grumbled, letting the sarcasm drip off his words. "Whatever happened to lazy Saturday afternoons? Games, naps, pretending to do your homework? Now we have extra homework—assigned by our teammate!"

"She's my teammate," Blake said. "Besides, don't you want a perfect grade in Port's class?" She deposited the small tower of books on the table they'd commandeered and considered Jaune, slumped in the chair below the window. Blake pointed sharply to the left. "Move into that chair," she ordered.

"Huh? Why?"

"I want the sunny spot."

"...oh, alright," and the second Jaune vacated Blake curled up, very nearly purring.

"I'd say Ruby is our teammate," Pyrrha said, coming over with another, smaller collection of books. "After all, JNPR and RWBY have been fighting together since the beginning. We work as well with eight as we do with four."

"Well then those other five can come back and help us." Jaune immediately slid the pile forward and planted his head on top. "Research duty." He said it like others might say "Grimm guts" or "taxes."

Pyrrha carefully pet the top of his hair. "There, there."

"I don't really expect to find much," Blake said, flipping through the nearest text. It was the standard History of Remnant, required at every Huntsman academy and containing, alongside the curriculum Oobleck taught, a number of legends and apocryphal tales. "Ruby's right. Professor Port isn't that old and we don't have the greatest record system here..."

"We don't?" Jaune asked. He eyed the stacks skeptically.

"It's hard," Pyrrha agreed. "Oftentimes Hunters and Huntresses won't make it back from their missions, so any information we have from them—if we have any at all—comes second or third hand, passed through the kingdoms until it makes it back to an academy. Plus we just don't have the resources. The people." She gestured to the three of them, all in their armor despite the fact that there was technically nothing to do. "We're trained to be warriors, not scholars. Dr. Oobleck tries to bridge that gap and a kingdom like Atlas has more bodies to spare, but still..." Pyrrha shrugged.

Jaune looked a little awed. "How do you know all that?"

"You learn a lot traveling around for tournaments." She smiled.

"Well, it's better than doing actual homework," Blake said. She divided the books up and leaned back in her chair. "Might as well get to work."

So they did, with much sighing from Jaune (and attempts to hide his comics behind the pages) and for an hour or so there was companionable silence. They were quite literally the only ones in the library this time of the day. The older students had all left on weekend-long assignments, while the younger ones enjoyed the heat with desperate stubbornness, trying to beat it with trips to the ice cream parlor and naps in the shade. Almost no one was left on campus. Blake and the others were easily the only ones inside.

It made them look, in a word, suspicious.

They'd only been working an hour or so—vague references to a Hunter who might be Professor Port, more references to his work as an instructor at Beacon academy—when a big, chipper voice said,

"Enjoying yourselves?"

All of them jumped, Jaune muffled his shriek, and Pyrrha honestly thought they'd get a patent, librarian "Shh!" from Mrs. Cerise. They didn't though. In fact, Mrs. Cerise looked as far from a traditional librarian as you could get. She was short, with plump arms and a soft belly, fond of long dresses that accentuated her curves. More often than not they came in bright colors that made her stand out among the stacks, even more-so if she wore one of her favorite flower prints. Mrs. Cerise wore her hair down with a sensible headband to keep it out of her eyes. She spoke calmly, always with a smile, and often had peppermints tucked away around the library. Sometimes students found one randomly while they were looking for a book. Other times she handed them out herself, not unlike a doting grandmother. There was speculation, given the "Mrs." about whether she did in fact have any kids. All in all, Mrs. Cerise seemed to be the sweetest, most approachable member of Beacon Academy.

Absolutely no one fell for that.

Maybe it was her aura—her semblance hidden just beneath the surface—that tipped the student body off. Maybe it was the simple knowledge that no one worked at Beacon unless they were well and thoroughly badass, or maybe living in an often cruel world taught them that smiles like that couldn't always be trusted. Maybe it was just some Hunter instinct. Whatever it was, every student agreed that Mrs. Cerise was easily the most unnerving of the faculty.

They all went very, very still.

"Peppermint?" she asked and they all unanimously shook their head, maybe a little too quickly.

"We're doing research," Blake said, unnecessarily giving the number of books they'd barricaded themselves with a sweeping gesture. When Mrs. Cerise just looked on blandly she began to sweat. "You know, just... stuff."

"Stuff?" she said and to Jaune's horror Mrs. Cerise ambled over, pulling out a chair beside him. Many of the students at Beacon were close to the professors—you had to be in their line of work, age meant little on the battlefield, only experience mattered—and so there shouldn't have been anything odd about the librarian settling in to help them.

There was.

"What about?" Mrs. Cerise asked. She tugged a random book forward. "Oh! _Exemplary Deeds: The Hunter/Huntress Edition_. Absolutely thrilling tales in this one. Although... you do realize that they are often tales in the fictional sense." Her smile was just on the side of condescending, looking at Pyrrha in particular. As if she should have known better. "I fear that most, if not all of these accounts have been embellished heavily. Mostly for the public's benefit, you understand. It's best if the average person doesn't understand all the intricacies of our job. It doesn't lend itself to a high morale, and that's oh so important when facing off against an enemy such as the Grimm, don't you agree?"

They stared, a little thrown by the speech, more than a little uncertain about what the hell was going on. Jaune finally raised his hand and said, "Uh... _our_ job?"

Her head swerved his way. "Oh yes, dear! All the faculty here at Beacon are Hunters or Huntresses. Surely you know that?"

"But you're the librarian..."

"Just because I've turned my talents to literature rather than weaponry," she sniffed. For the first time, Pyrrha smiled.

"You sound like Doctor Oobleck," she said. "And we know it's apocryphal. We were talking about that even before we started. We just thought..." Pyrrha shrugged. "Well, if anyone had information on Professor Port's, ah, exploits... you would. The library would, I mean."

Blake and Jaune both nodded. It was half hesitant and half hopeful, like perhaps Mrs. Cerise might in fact pull out a new book from nowhere, point to a passage, and secure them all a perfect grade. After all, wasn't that what librarians were good for? It might have been an uplifting moment, something to break the dreariness of a dark room on an otherwise sunny day, but Mrs. Cerise was too still, her smile too knowing, and the smell of peppermints was overwhelming in the air.

"So he's playing this little game again, is he?" she asked.

Blake blinked. "Huh?"

Mrs. Cerise stood suddenly, gazing down on them fondly. Then she lifted her leg and slammed it down on the table.

All the books rattled. Pyrrha went still, Jaune squeaked, and Blake's bow gave a suspicious twitch. After taking a moment to appreciate their reactions, Mrs. Cerise lifted the hem of her dress to reveal a bionic, metal leg. Jaune could just make out the Atlas cybernetics logo on the side.

"Mm hmm," she said when Blake peaked to see if her other leg was the same. It was.

"Now listen carefully, children. I've had a long and exciting life. I've seen much, I've done more, and absolutely none of it would be deemed safe." Mrs. Cerise leaned forward to rap the metal of her knee with a fist. "I've perhaps done more than the average instructor here, if I'm allowed to brag. But Peter, oh..." she leaned forward. "Peter has done far, _far_ more."

Shock wasn't a good look on a Hunter. Mrs. Cerise took her leg off the table and pat Jaune's cheek.

"Why don't you three go out and play now, hmm?"

They did.

***

Ruby was often a little self-conscious about her size—big dad, tall uncle, sister with arms like a tank—but this, she had to admit, was fun.

Knees bent to her chest combined with Ren and Nora's strength, Ruby was just able to swing between them, hands gripping tight to sleeve and bare arm, holding on for dear life. With a cackle Nora lunged like she was bowling and Ruby flew higher than both their heads, only Ren's sturdier stance keeping her from launching into orbit. She giggled on the way down.

"I think," he said lightly, "that you're supposed to do this with little kids." Ren stared pointedly at the number of people laughing or rolling their eyes. There was more than one amusedly muttered, "Hunters."

Nora scoffed. "Lame. Little kids get to have all the fun. It's all candy all the time with them!"

"And everyone fusses," Ruby agreed.

"They get naps. Why don’t we get naps? That hardly seems fair."

"I could use a nap," Ren sighed.

"Exactly!"

"No naps," Ruby said. "We're on a mission, remember? Or at least, we can have naps after we look at ALL the new weapons." She danced a bit down the sidewalk, balled fists pressed up against her chin.

Ren lengthened his strides to catch up. "You mean after we ask about Professor Port?"

"Oh. Yeah. Right."

"I'm gonna buy a rocket launcher," Nora whispered, lost entirely in her own world.

"No you're not."

"Try and stop me."

“Your wallet will do that for me.”

Ruby smiled, tilting her head up to the sun. It was hot today, humid too, and she'd shed her normal outfit and cloak for a lighter red shirt and jean overalls. She was a little worried about testing weapons without her battle uniform, but ultimately her comfort won out. Ruby wondered if Blake and the others were happy in the air-conditioned library.

She could feel the ends of her hair sticking to her neck, letting Ruby know that she was due for a haircut. Maybe Yang would give her one later.

"There it is!"

Nora's shout drew even more looks from the shoppers and after a second their amused expressions turned to horror as she barreled through the crowd. With a cheer of her own Ruby followed the newly made path, Ren bringing up the rear at a more sedate pace. The old, creaky sign was just coming into view:

_Dusty's Weaponry_

_Finely Crafted Since the Great War_

Ruby had only been to Vale's weapon's shop once, their first week on campus, and that was only to load up on ammo for Crescent Rose. As school had really gotten underway—and they became absorbed in other... extracurricular activities—she'd taken to just ordering what she needed through her scroll, or otherwise utilizing Beacon's dinkier weapons facility. The thought that she'd finally get to explore one of the oldest and most respective weapons shops in all the kingdoms sent a chill straight down Ruby's back.

"It's beautiful," she gushed.

Nora shot her a lopsided grin. "Guess that's one word for it."

Okay, Dusty's was unique, and Ruby could see how others might find it off-putting, but to her it just reeked of adventure. Literally. It was that old book smell combined with the sharp fragrance of oil; metal with leather and a faint tang of gunpowder. Despite the massive sign overhead it was easy to miss the entrance: a narrow flight of steps that lead to an equally narrow door, the descent and archway keeping most of the sun away from the entrance. Ruby felt like she was entering an entirely new world as she tiptoed down and had been thrilled her first time here to find that the aesthetic continued. Dusty's was dark, so dark in fact that it was sometimes hard to see the weapons themselves. Not that you needed to. Any Hunter or Huntress of quality needed only the feel of a weapon's grip; the weight of it between their hands.

A tiny bell on the door rang. Ruby reached behind her and found her friend's arms. She gripped them tightly for a moment.

"I want to see _everything_."

"Good news for me, I suppose."

The voice sounded like an old, abused gear, desperately in need of oiling. Ruby turned and saw Dusty rising up from behind the counter, all seven feet of him, running one hand through his white hair while the other fixed the glasses he wore. He peered at them suspiciously.

"You'd best be buying something," he said. "Bah. _Lie_. Still need an old man to do your work for you?"

Ren shrugged a Ruby's look, handing over his weapons. "Nora and I trained on our own before applying. We didn't make our weapons like the Signal students did. I've never been very good at maintenance."

"And this one don't got the patience for it." Dusty pointed severely at Nora, already oo-ing at the wall of maces. "We got the same rules as any store, missy: you break it, you buy it."

Nora swung a mace experimentally. A spike came _this_ close to slashing her skirt. "But Ren and I don't have any money."

"Ha! Don't I know it." Dusty's eyes were just tiny slits. Still, Ruby caught the exact moment they landed on her. "Humph. You. Girlie. You've been here before haven't you?"

She stuck her hands in her pockets, suddenly shy. "Uh huh."

"Yeah. I remember you now. Scythe-sniper combo, right? Not bad, not bad, even if the damn thing was bigger than you are. Tell you what, you keep that little friend of yours out of trouble while I clean Lie's mess and I'll give you a discount. Deal?"

"Deal!" and with a short burst of petals Ruby was instantly at Nora's side. She pressed the mace back to the ground with a grin. Nora glared. Dusty coughed at the smell of roses.

"Give me strength," he muttered, pulling out a small pouch of cleaning tools. "This is going to cost you, Lie. My sanity don't come cheap."

Ren leaned against the counter. "Nora wasn't joking when she said we didn't have any money and I'm not going to ask Ruby for it. You should just put that away."

"You know damn well I won't, kid. Gonna get yourself killed out there without a proper cleaning. I'll put it on your tab."

"You always say that."

"It's a damn large tab now, ain't it?"

Ruby left them to their bickering, dragging Nora firmly by her skirt into the back of the shop. It was like a candy shop in here, if you preferred deadly weaponry to sweets: swords, rifles, high-powered crossbows, tridents, sickles, shears, javelins, throwing stars, daggers, a weaponized fan...despite some very basic categorization (guns over here, miscellaneous long range over there) the shop was structured more like a junk yard, with everything positioned where it had seemingly been tossed. Despite this, Ruby could see the age and craftsmanship in each weapon, the Atlas seal of approval on all the newer models. Dusty specialized in old school work—she'd have to drag Jaune here next—but he still had room for technological advancement. There was a whole wall of dust products that made Ruby's mouth water with envy.

She leaned into Nora's side. "Is he 'Dusty' because that's actually his name, because of Dust, or because of how dirty this shop is?" she asked.

"Guessing the latter."

It wasn't Nora's voice. The two of them turned, finding a dimly lit staircase that lead into the basement. It was where Dusty kept most of the ammunition. It took a moment, but in time Ruby could make out the figures ascending the rickety steps. One of them wiped a finger across the banister and looked upon the dust with horror.

"Coco!" Ruby didn't realize how loud she'd been until she got a vague, disgruntled shout from Dusty in turn. She ducked down sheepishly as Coco nodded. Behind her, Velvet peaked out with a smile.

"He's not much for excitement," she said. "It 'rattles his nerves.' Dusty will kick you out fast if you're being too noisy." For some strange, inexplicable reason she stared at Nora while she said that—who just whistled innocently while palming a short dagger. Ruby tore it out of her hands.

"You're both just powerhouses of energy, aren't you?" Coco made it sound like a compliment though. She took a step back, eyeing Ruby carefully. "Nice outfit, Rubes. Gotta say you look good in casual. And Valkyrie. Loving the guns, as always."

Nora raised her arms with a smirk. She kissed a bicep, Coco whistled, and Velvet went so red she lit up the darkness. Ruby choked on a laugh.

"Are you guys here to buy stuff?" she asked, maybe just a little overeager. Ruby grabbed hold of Coco's arm and leaned around behind her, checking for bags or new sheaths. She got a knock on the head for her trouble, Coco pushing her gently—but firmly—backward.

"Just browsing," Velvet said. She tapped her camera. "Dusty lets me come in sometimes and take pictures. I only do it when I'm really low though. It's never as good."

Nora cocked her head. "Huh? Why?"

"Because she's gotta see how it's done," Coco answered. "Velvet's semblance let's her perfectly mimic the style of the user who owns the weapon she's copying—provided she's seen them in battle. Or practicing. It's the damn most awesome semblance I've ever seen."

Velvet went red again, her ears curling in embarrassment. "And provided there's an owner," she murmured. "I can summon these weapons, but they don't have any real life to them, you know?"

"Cool," Ruby whispered.

"Very cool," Nora agreed.

They kept nodding firmly, in synch, until Coco rolled her eyes and shoved past them.

"So what are you two kids doing here? Wasn't that Ren back there? Don't tell me you're all updating this weekend."

"I wish," Ruby said, thinking of her very depleted allowance and all the cool, awesome things she'd like to add to her weapons collection back home. "I mean, I'm super duper completely happy to stay here and buy, um, everything—" Coco snorted. "But we're actually kinda here for homework." Ruby said it like the great burden it was. "See, Professor Port made this dare with our class, it's kinda complicated, but basically we're here to see if Dusty knows anything about Professor Port's past and if he's really done all the things he says he's done because Dusty has been here for _forever_ and—what? Um, Coco?"

She was staring, as was Velvet, though they sported radically different expressions. Coco looked as if she was going to burst into hysterics any second. Velvet just gazed at them sadly.

Nora and Ruby exchanged glances.

"What?"

"Oh honey," Coco said. She sounded like she was choking. "Don't tell me Port is still pulling that shit with the newbies?"

Ruby felt like the floor was dropping out from under her. "Huh?"

"Easy grade, right?" Velvet shook her head.

Ren came up then, holstering newly cleaned weapons and glancing among the four of them, wary. "Hey...what'd I miss?"

"I'm gonna kill him," Nora seethed.

***

Nora did not murder their Grimm Studies professor. Two days later Peter was alive and well, chuckling to himself as he snuck into his apartment, the silent entrance unnecessary as he found Bart still up and about, making a fresh cup of tea. Peter slung an arm around his husband's waist and planted a kiss against the back of his neck. He dangled a thin book in front of his nose.

"Now what in the world is that?" Bart snatched it up and flipped through with astounding speed, a grin growing with every page he passed. Peter took down a mug for himself and chuckled heartedly.

"You've got a real fondness for Team RWBY, don't you? Well I'm beginning to see why! The Schnee girl put that report together, but they all had their own little tasks that they completed. It’s all written up there. Oh yes, Team JNPR is in there too, wonderful example of cooperation! I must say, I've never had a group quite so organized, or who took my little dare quite so seriously. Attacking the problem head on—like true Huntsmen and Huntresses!"

Bart just shook his head as Peter poured a little cheer into both their cups, toasting his with style. "Goodness. Were they as upset as Ms. Adel two years back?"

"Ha! More-so I'd say. Ms. Valkyrie is a fearsome girl, no doubt about it."

"You really do need to stop this."

He said it fondly though. Port's yearly dare was as much a fixture of Beacon as the walls themselves. The fact that it was entirely rigged only added to the faculty's amusement. It was a little hard to prove your professor a liar when he had, in fact, done everything he'd claimed. Bart tisked and shoved the report back into Peter's hands, drawing another chuckle from him.

"You should tell them," Bart added, leaning against the kitchen counter. He took an appreciative sip. The spirits and company warmed him thoroughly. "Glynda would simply love to have you guest lecture sometime. You know how rare passive semblances are."

Peter made a noncommittal noise, leaning into Bart's side. Yes. It was rare. He knew of only two others: a dear friend out at Shade Academy who attracted animals to her side, specializing in beast mastery; and one of the headmaster's friends—poor guy—who was a veritable bad luck charm. Peter rather thought he got the better end of the stick. Attracting adventure was certainly something. The fact that he always came out on top was just, as they say, an added bonus.

He smiled over the rim of his mug. "I'll tell them... the day that teasing them stops being so much fun."

A huff sounded in the kitchen. The sound of a kiss.

"Well, at least I'm never bored."


	6. Professor Peach

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look who's updating this! *throws confetti for myself* 
> 
> (All riddles are stollen from google. Pff, like I could make things like this up.)

"What goes up a chimney down but can’t come down a chimney up?"

 

Ruby froze in the act of launching a handful of mashed potatoes into Yang's hair (probably for the best, considering where that act would have landed her) and Weiss dropped the apple she'd been wielding like a grenade. Pyrrha slowly wiped peas from the front of her armor while Jaune peaked up from beneath the table. Yang got _down_ from the table, Ren replaced the pitcher of water he held, and Nora was the only one still trying to achieve death by foodstuffs—until Ruby grabbed the back of her shirt.

 

"Um...?" Ruby said eloquently.

 

"An umbrella."

 

They all turned to Blake, the only one who'd opted out of the food fight in favor of reading her book. She calmly turned a page, immaculate, as Yang let out a whispered, " _Nice_."

 

"Very good," Professor Peach praised. "An umbrella—the thing the rest of this cafeteria will need if you lot keep this up." She calmly wiped a bit of sauce from her shirt.

 

Tall and so rail thin that Ruby felt guilty about wasting the food, Professor Peach had an otherwise sweet disposition that fit her name well. Jeans and a Beacon-issued t-shirt, plenty of piercings and sporting a buzz cut (or peach fuzz, as she referred to it), Professor Peach really didn't look like the type of person to be completely _obsessed_ with riddles.

 

Then again, Ruby had never met anyone else obsessed with riddles, so she supposed she couldn't judge.

 

"We'll stop," she said meekly, palming the mashed potatoes into the napkin that Pyrrha kindly offered her. They expected Professor Peach to move on, but instead she looked at them each in turn, causing Jaune to gulp audibly. In truth, they really didn't know her very well. Peach taught upper level hand-to-hand and as such hadn't had much contact with Team RWBY and JNPR. The longest they'd ever spoken to her—besides now—was when they'd delivered their rather messy collection of sap from Forever Fall. Given that, Ruby wasn't surprised to hear Ren say,

 

"So... what _was_ that sap for?"

 

Eight students looked on expectantly and Professor Peach smiled. Oh. Right.

 

"There is a building. These people enter it blind and come out seeing. Who are they?"

 

As one they all turned to Blake, but she shook her head a little frantically. "You've gotta figure out the building _and_ the people," she muttered, hiding behind her book. The group again turned in synch towards Pyrrha.

 

"What makes you think I'm good at riddles?" she said, throwing up her hands.

 

Nora poked her with a sticky finger. "Smart."

 

"I'm smart!" Weiss huffed. She seemed to immediately reconsider that. "Well, maybe not as smart as Pyrrha..."

 

 "Definitely not."

 

"Hey," Ruby narrowed her eyes, re-hefting the basket of rolls. "My smart teammate is definitely smarter than YOUR smart teammate."

 

Weiss blinked. "What."

 

"Yeah!" Yang agreed. "And we've got two of 'em." She dragged Blake into a one-armed hug.

 

"So do we." Nora pulled Ren up onto the table with a lot more force. She sounded like she was ready to start another fight right in front of Professor Peach.

 

" _Students_."

 

They stilled once more. Ruby recognized that voice. She looked up, sheepish, to find the headmaster towering over them and their mess. She pushed down Nora's fists. Carefully.

 

"Sorry, sir," Weiss said.

 

To their surprise he chuckled. "That wasn't an admonishment, Ms. Schnee. You're the answer to Paula's riddle." Ozpin respectfully inclined his head. "The building is a school. Those who enter it do so blind, metaphorically, and come out able to see—themselves and their world in new ways. The sap, therefore, is for you. It has simple healing properties that are perfect for the minor aches and pains one might accumulate in Paula's class." Ozpin's eyes narrowed slightly. "You have an aversion to aura healing, don't you, Paula?"

 

"You know I do," she said, wagging a finger. "Don't play language games with me, Oz. Your leading questions have no power here." Peach looked innocently up at the ceiling. "You wear clothes of the brightest of colors and bells ring on your every step. You laugh at me, I laugh at you. Tell me, what are you?"

 

In contrast Ozpin dropped his head, staring at the top of his cane. His mouth worked, though Ruby couldn't tell if he was hiding a smile or a grimace.

 

"A fool," he said softly.

 

Peach grinned. "You said it. Not me."

 

Ruby had the sudden, sinking feeling that this conversation wasn't about them anymore. Whenever she saw Professor Ozpin with the rest of the faculty he was always Polite and Respectful and a little bit Wise, exactly what she thought a headmaster was supposed to be. Sure, sometimes she caught him teasing Dr. Oobleck, or he'd tell her a funny story about Uncle Qrow, but Professor Ozpin always had nice things to say about others. Even General Ironwood.

 

She'd never seen him...challenge someone before.

 

"Rather unkind of you," Ozpin said, tapping his cane thoughtfully on the floor. "Very well. If you're so insistent on your superiority with language..." Ozpin looked back up, his eyes narrowed. "I have an eight letter word in mind. I take away a letter and it remains a word. Another letter, another word, until there's only one left. What is it?"

 

Professor Peach grinned, drumming her hands on the back of a chair before flipping it around, seating herself backwards on it. Ozpin also held out a hand and Jaune scrambled to drag up a chair for him too. He sat primly.

 

"Eight letters," Peach mused. "So we've got eight words total. I assume any letter can be removed, not merely, say, the first or the last?"

 

Ozpin inclined his head. "Of course. It would be too easy otherwise."

 

"Too _easy_?" Weiss echoed. Ruby tugged at her skirt until she sat beside her on the table. Everyone else pushed various foods and spills out of the way, crowding together until they were a single, mesmerized pocket of spectators. Most of the other students had already cleared out when their food fight began, but a few stragglers whispered and pointed at their professors with interest.

 

A minute passed. Ozpin made a show of fishing out his pocket watch and giving it a long look.

 

"Oh?" Peach cocked an eyebrow. "You want to time this?"

 

"I am a busy man, Paula."

 

She spread her arms. "Be my guest. Set your limit."

 

"Three minutes then," Ozpin said. "I believe that's traditional."

 

"For an amateur, maybe. I was just taking my time," Peach made a shooing motion in his direction. "Starting, staring, string, sting, sing, sin, in, and I. Yes?"

 

"Yes," Ozpin agreed even as Pyrrha was trying to list each word on her fingers. She lost track and glared, looking somewhere between disgusted and impressed. "I believe it's your turn."

 

"Hmm... okay. Continuing with the theme: What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years?"

 

"The letter 'm.'" Ozpin leaned forward. "Really, Paula, do try a little harder. I'm quite a bit older than you. You'll be hard pressed to find a riddle I'm not at least passingly familiar with."

 

"So you're a cheater?"

 

"Experience is hardly _cheating_."

 

"If you say so, Oz. You might have your experience, but I've got raw talent on my side. Ask your damn riddle already."

 

So it continued, each of them questioning and answering one another with a speed that had the kids whipping their heads from one side to the other, dumbstruck at the display. They didn't need Ozpin's timer—neither ever took longer than thirty seconds and neither ever got one wrong. After ten minutes had passed Ren and Weiss both started a list of the riddles they heard while Blake made a tally of each point they acquired.

 

"We're late for Oobleck's class," Nora whispered, stuffing an abandoned roll into her mouth. Ruby could only nod dumbly.

 

"Uh huh."

 

"You think he'll be mad?"

 

"Mm hmm."

 

"Should we leave?"

 

"...No."

 

Ozpin suddenly slammed his cane down onto the floor. Ruby jumped, thinking they were gonna get yelled at for talking, but he was glaring firmly at Peach.

 

"So that's how we're playing this?" he said. "Cultural knowledge? I expected better from you, Paula."

 

She jabbed a finger at him. "Quit talking to me like I'm some doe-eyed student, you hypocrite. If you can ask questions based on synonyms—whose exact meanings can be _subjective_ I might add—I can damn well ask stuff based on cultural knowledge. Now quit stalling. Why did the man give his girl seven apples before he left?"

 

Ozpin sniffed. "Simple. If he's gone for a week and his rival is a doctor... an apple a day keeps the doctor away. It's childish."

 

"You're childish. And I'm bored. Hurry up and ask something—unless you've run out of questions?"

 

"Hardly."

 

"Then prove it!"

 

Ozpin pretended to examine his nails. "A woman shoots her husband. She holds him under water for five minutes before finally hanging him. However, just a few minutes after that they both go out together and enjoy a lovely dinner. How is this possible?"

 

Peach said, "She's a photographer" just as someone whispered the exact same thing in Ruby's ear. She jumped, turning to find Dr. Oobleck leaning between Jaune and Pyrrha.

 

"I wondered where half my class had gone to," he whispered, staring hard at the competition. Ruby had never seen Oobleck stand so _still_ before. "How long have they been at it?"

 

Blake checked the dining halls' clock. "Half an hour. Little more maybe."

 

Oobleck chuckled. "And they'll be at if for hours yet if we let them." His eyes twinkled at their perplexed look. "Oh, you think this is the first time they've done this? No, no, no. I was once under the impression that it was mostly an act, something to impress you kids." Oobleck shook his head. "I was a naive instructor back then."

 

Weiss very slowly opened her mouth before closing it again. It was Jaune who asked what they were all thinking.

 

"So, um, why do they...?"

 

"Because they're stubborn, Mr. Arc."

 

"Oh," Ruby said. Yeah. She could see that.

 

Which was why they took matters into their own hands—as seemed to happen so often here at Beacon. On Oobleck's advice (and giving him the chance to slip away first), Ruby stood up on the table and politely cleared her throat to get their attention. She was ignored. Ruby cleared her throat a little louder... still nothing.

 

"HI YES HELLO, WOULD YOU TWO LISTEN FOR A SECOND?"

 

Peach jumped, immediately slapping a hand over her mouth to cover a laugh. Ozpin honestly looked surprised and then... embarrassed? Yes, well, maybe he should be.

 

Ruby nodded, straightening her skirt as Yang gave her a thumbs up and Weiss buried her face in her hands. She took the two pieces of paper she'd grabbed from Pyrrha's bag, hopped down, and handed them to her professors with as much dignity as she could muster.

 

"We," Ruby announced, "are having a tie-breaker."

 

***

 

"They didn't," Velvet said as Coco choke-laughed around her drink. "They _didn't_. I don't believe you."

 

"They really did," Jaune said. He nearly toppled carrying everyone's food orders, but Ren caught the sliding sandwiches at the last second. Lunch was distributed around the picnic table as Velvet tried to re-assess everything she knew about life.

 

"But they're professors of Beacon!" she exclaimed, tugging at her ears.

 

"They're also nerds," Yang said, trying to steal half of Nora's fries.

 

Coco rapped the space in front of Ruby. "So who won? C'mon, kid. Inquiring minds need to know."

 

Mouth sealed shut Ruby let the silence hang until Weiss nudged her hard in the ribs. With a _whoosh_ of air she looked back up.

 

"They both lost," Ruby said, laughing as she recalled their expressions. "Doctor Oobleck told me to tell them to write my exact weight on a piece of paper. The closest person wins."

 

"Professor Peach was rather confident about it," Ren said. "She wrote hers quickly."

 

Blake nodded. "And the Headmaster did some sort of complicated equation. I only got a quick look at it."

 

"Okay," Coco said. "But one of them had to be closer, right?"

 

"Nope." Ruby bit into her sandwich, grinning around the meat and the cheese. "Neither one wrote down the words 'my exact weight.' That's all they needed to do."

 

There was silence around the table. Velvet had gone beet red with second-hand embarrassment. Coco shook with silent laughter.

 

Pyrrha eventually sighed. "So do you think that's why Professor Ozpin has been hiding in his office the last three days?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Mmm."

 

"Absolutely."

 

"No doubt."

 

"... I feel a little bad for him."

 

Only a little though.

 

 


End file.
